Celebritology 2.0: Celebritology


Posted at 12:11 PM ET, 12/21/2012

This is the Celebritology goodbye

Thanks for everything. See you in another life, brothas.

By Jen Chaney  |  12:11 PM ET, 12/21/2012 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 09:12 AM ET, 12/21/2012

Friday list: Celebritology reminiscences

“Memories ... of the way we were...”

By Jen Chaney  |  09:12 AM ET, 12/21/2012 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 04:37 PM ET, 08/23/2012

Brett Cohen: the New Yorker who pretended to be famous and is now a little famous because of it

A viral video proves that an entourage and some paparazzi can make you seem famous.

By Jen Chaney  |  04:37 PM ET, 08/23/2012 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 12:04 PM ET, 08/10/2012

Some unsolicited interview advice for Robert Pattinson

Some options for actor as he prepares to appear on “The Daily Show” and “Good Morning America.”

By Jen Chaney  |  12:04 PM ET, 08/10/2012 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101 | Tags:  Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart

Posted at 09:28 AM ET, 01/26/2012

Demi Moore rumors proliferate; Lindsay Lohan sued over alleged Maserati incident

Also in the morning mix: Dwight Schrute’s beet farm is getting a show.

By Sarah Anne Hughes  |  09:28 AM ET, 01/26/2012 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebrities, Celebritology 2.0

Posted at 03:18 PM ET, 07/15/2011

Tom Hanks, Khloe Kardashian tweet about ‘Carmageddon’

“This weekend, LA! Avoid Carmageddon, Gas-zilla, 405-enstein, Grid-lock-apalooza! STAY HOME,” Hanks tweeted.

By Sarah Anne Hughes  |  03:18 PM ET, 07/15/2011 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 01:53 PM ET, 06/15/2011

‘Spider-Man’ issues spoofed by ‘Sesame Street’

Grover has some issues staying airborne in “SpiderMonster, the Musical.”

By Sarah Anne Hughes  |  01:53 PM ET, 06/15/2011 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 2.0, Viral Video | Tags:  TV

Posted at 01:00 PM ET, 04/15/2011

‘Friday Night Lights’: The end begins tonight. Unless you saw it on DirecTV or DVD already.

Say goodbye to Dillon, Tex. Or, if you already saw it on DirecTV or DVD, say goodbye again. Whatever.

By Jen Chaney  |  01:00 PM ET, 04/15/2011 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend | Tags:  Friday Night Lights

Posted at 10:00 AM ET, 03/06/2011

About this blog — updated

By Jen Chaney  |  10:00 AM ET, 03/06/2011 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 04:35 PM ET, 03/03/2011

Ginnifer Godwin is Snow White

Ginnifer Goodwin has been cast in the buzzy ABC pilot “Once Upon a Time,” a fairy tale-style drama written by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz of Lost fame.

By Jen Chaney  |  04:35 PM ET, 03/03/2011 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology

Posted at 09:24 AM ET, 11/06/2010

Celebritology Weekend: Tom Hanks for president?

Three celeb-centric stories on our radar this weekend... Tom Hanks with then House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in 2008. (Reuters) 1. Tom Hanks for president? If Democrats want to regain their political footing after that less than stellar performance on Election Day, they need some help from celebrities. That's one suggestion filmmaker Michael Moore made during an appearance on MSNBC this week. "Seriously, if we ran Tom Hanks, if we ran Oprah [Winfrey] -- there's a whole column of people who are beloved people, who are smart, good," said Moore in an appearance on “The Last Word With Lawrence O'Donnell.” “Why don't [the Democrats] make use of all the great communicators in Hollywood to help fashion the message?" Moore also noted that President Barack Obama is “kind of like” Tom Hanks because they're both “nice guys.” (But could he bring the same level of charm that Hanks did to the classic...

By Jen Chaney  |  09:24 AM ET, 11/06/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 09:14 AM ET, 11/06/2010

Pop Culture Pulse: Gwyneth Paltrow gets musical

When the Country Music Association Awards air Wednesday night on ABC, a new Nashville-style vocalist will make her CMA debut: Gwyneth Paltrow, who is scheduled to perform “Country Strong,” the title track from her upcoming movie of the same name. The Oscar-winner — who established her onscreen pipes in “Duets,” a movie with a plot that only karaoke fanatics could love -- transitions from twang to funky-soul the following week when she makes her much-hyped guest appearance on “Glee.” The track she'll perform on the inescapable Fox series? “Forget You” -- the radio-friendly version of a normally bleep-worthy Cee-Lo Green song. All of this naturally puts more promotional fuel behind the aforementioned film “Country Strong,” in which Paltrow stars as a Nashville diva attempting a comeback. Unless, of course, she somehow blows it during either of these orchestrated TV appearances. But given her talent, that seems unlikely....

By Jen Chaney  |  09:14 AM ET, 11/06/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 05:04 AM ET, 10/16/2010

Celebritology Weekend: Shia LaBeouf's coffee toss; Angelina Jolie not welcome in Bosnia

Shia LaBeouf tries to find a quiet moment outside D.C.'s Renaissance Hotel. (Photo courtesy Mark Wilkins) 1. Shia LaBeouf takes aim at D.C. photog: We could only get a few minutes of phone time with local paparazzo Mark Wilkins, who was on the receiving end of a cup of Shia LaBeouf's cold coffee this week. The local photog was in high demand after video of the incident hit the web on Friday. In a phone interview, Wilkins tells us he had only been snapping pix of the star -- in town to shoot "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" -- for about three minutes before LaBeouf suprised him with a counter-attack. Did LaBeouf say anything? "Not a word," says Jenkins. "He looked up and saw me, packed up his stuff, then it looked like he was thinking." Apparently, all that thinking led to LaBeouf beaning Wilkins with a cup of...

By Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney  |  05:04 AM ET, 10/16/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 05:24 AM ET, 10/09/2010

Celebritology Weekend: Vince Vaughn's 'Dilemma'; Hoda's shawls

Three celeb-centric stories on our radar this weekend... 1. A Universal change: Universal Pictures confirmed Friday that it plans to alter the trailer for “The Dilemma” -- an upcoming comedy starring Vince Vaughn and directed by Ron Howard -- because of complaints about its use of the word "gay." In the beginning of the original clip, which was still viewable online as of late Friday afternoon, Vaughn’s character says that “Electric cars are gay. Not homosexual gay, but, you know, my parents-are-chaperoning-the-dance gay.” Both the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and journalist Anderson Cooper advocated for the reference to be removed from the trailer, and the studio ultimately complied. “The teaser trailer for ‘The Dilemma’ was not intended to cause anyone discomfort,” said a statement released Friday by Universal. “In light of growing claims that the introduction to the trailer is insensitive, it is being replaced. A full trailer,...

By Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly  |  05:24 AM ET, 10/09/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 05:05 AM ET, 10/02/2010

Celebritology Weekend: Spike Lee calls Tea Partiers fanatics; Tony Bennett's advice for LiLo

Three celeb-centric stories on our radar this weekend... Spike Lee at Friday's Washington Ideas Forum. (AP) Lee speaks out: The always quotable Spike Lee was in town this week for the Washington Ideas Forum, a series of interviews with newsmakers and big thinkers co-presented at the Newseum by The Atlantic and the Aspen Institute. In keeping with Lee tradition, he dished out a few juicy sound bites during a Friday morning conversation with historian and journalist Douglas Brinkley. Of the Bush administration’s performance during Hurricane Katrina, he said: “People are dead now because they did not do what they needed to do.” On the BP oil spill, which made its way into his recent HBO documentary, “If God is Willing and da Creek Don’t Rise”: “BP dictated to the United States of America how this thing was going to be run.” On President Obama, a man who took First Lady...

By Jen Chaney and Liz Kelly  |  05:05 AM ET, 10/02/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 04:55 AM ET, 10/02/2010

Pop Culture Pulse: A 'Beach Boys' musical in the works?

The Beach Boys -- following Abba to the silver screen? (Capitol Records) Moviegoers could soon be picking up “Good Vibrations” from the big screen. According to a report in Variety, 20th Century Fox has snagged the rights to a musical based on the songs of the Beach Boys. The script has not been written -- Susannah Grant of “Erin Brockovich” fame has been tasked with that job -- but reportedly it will unfold “Mamma Mia!” style, with the tracks punctuating the moments in a fictional story. Let's just hope that former Interior Secretary James Watt -- the man who got the Boys banned from the National Mall in the early '80s -- somehow makes a cameo appearance. [Deadline.com]...

By Jen Chaney  |  04:55 AM ET, 10/02/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 10:32 AM ET, 06/11/2010

Update: Celebrities still eat!

Amy Winehouse enjoys a bracing mouthful of fries. (Image courtesy celebrities-eating.com) I first shared my love of celebrities-eating.com back in 2006. It's a good go-to spot if you're seeking a break from the usual continuum of celebrity photo ops (i.e. red carpets, retouched mag spreads and self-administered Twit pics) or, you know, work. So, imagine my dismay when in July 2008, the site just stopped posting updates. Well, as of June 1, the site is back online and already fielding a robust array of the celebrity-meets-gastronomy-meets-voyeurism pix that made it such a must-click in the first place. Already we've got pix of Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus AND Arnold Schwarzenegger pigging out on ice cream, Amanda Bynes doing battle (and possibly losing) with a fried chicken wing and Carrot Top hand feeding Gene Simmons. As it turns out, celebrities-eating.com isn't the only game in town (see Buzzfeed.com's and Delish.com's collections,...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:32 AM ET, 06/11/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 09:29 AM ET, 06/05/2010

Celebritology Weekend: Sandra Bullock goes public; Sheryl Crow welcomes new son

We're guessing Oscar winner Sandra Bullock won't be thanking soon-to-be-ex-husband Jesse James at Sunday's MTV Movie Awards. (AP) The three celeb-centric stories on our radar (and yours) this weekend... 1. The MTV Movie Awards -- which recognize cinematic achievement in highbrow categories like Best Kiss and Best Fight -- are hardly the Academy Awards. Oh, who are we kidding? It's not even the People's Choice Awards. But the promotion-filled celebration of youth-centric moviedom may be worth watching this Sunday night because of one person: Sandra Bullock. The Arlington, Va., native and recent Oscar winner has confirmed that she will attend the L.A. ceremony to accept the MTV Generation Award, the trophy show's equivalent of a lifetime achievement honor, which will make the event her first high-profile public appearance since the rupture of her marriage to Jesse James. What will she say in her acceptance speech? We're guessing she won't...

By Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney  |  09:29 AM ET, 06/05/2010 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology Weekend

Posted at 10:28 AM ET, 08/18/2009

Celebrity Sex Tapes: A Brief History

Celebrity sex tape success story Paris Hilton in July. (Getty Images) This morning, "Grey's Anatomy's" Eric Dane ("McSteamy") and his wife -- one-time Noxzema model Rebecca Gayheart -- became the latest to join the celebrity sex tape club. Though, to be precise, theirs is more of a nudie fest made a bit more interesting by the inclusion of former beauty queen (and "Celebrity Rehab"-ber) Kari Ann Peniche. Even though it's banal, the footage is definitely NSFW, so here's a recap: A nude McSteamy and sometimes costumed, sometimes nude Gayheart and Peniche loll around what appears to be a cluttered bed discussing their porn names (Dane tries out "just Peter" before going with "Cocaine Manor.") and a mutual admiration of cowboys and being "very high" (maybe they're on the top floor of a skyscraper?). Then, the action -- if it can be called that -- moves to the bathtub where...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:28 AM ET, 08/18/2009 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 11:20 AM ET, 07/22/2009

Child Actors: The 'Mini Working Class'

Backstagemom.com co-founder Olivia Allen cites Dakota Fanning as a good role model for potential kid actors. (Summit Entertainment) Hollywood is notoriously tough -- a town that can put aspiring actors through a punishing gauntlet of auditions, criticism and then, if you're lucky enough to get work, hours of time on set. But imagine being, say, 10 years old and instead of just worrying about the swim team or a science quiz, working twice as hard to keep up in school so you can ditch class to attend auditions on demand. "There is a whole world out there of child actors who most people aren't even aware of," says Lorena Mena, who along with partner Olivia Allen, recently founded the Web site backstagemom.com. "I like to call them the mini working class." And some ("Harry Potter's" Daniel Radcliffe comes to mind) navigate that world better than others (Miley Cyrus and...

By Liz Kelly  |  11:20 AM ET, 07/22/2009 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 11:46 AM ET, 12/18/2008

Interview Tips for the Media-Challenged Celebrity

When Liz wrote last week about Fran Drescher's political aspirations, the first thing that came to mind was "worst interview ever." This is always my first thought whenever Drescher's name bubbles up from the celebrity swamp, because Tony Kornheiser burned it into my brain. Drescher did a spot on Mr. Tony's radio show in 2007 that could be described as a train wreck, except that train wrecks at least end quickly. It's not just the pat answers, the clear disinterest on her part in what Tony's saying, the frequent misunderstandings ... the woman actually has trouble operating her phone at one point. Drescher has since become a running joke on the show -- a guest may be bad, but at least he or she wasn't "Fran Drescher bad." Any mention of her will send Tony into a sputtering diatribe about how terrible she was to interview. In my day job...

By Jen Chaney  |  11:46 AM ET, 12/18/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 02/20/2008

Celebritology 101: Star-Crossed Sex Tapes

Gene Simmons's family jewels find their way to a new venue. Pam Anderson has one. So does Paris Hilton. Hilton's is credited with launching her from so-so celebutante into the stratosphere of super-stardom. Which may explain why the celebrity sex tape has morphed from an image killer into a PR strategy for careers on the verge of extinction. Though it doesn't always work. Former "Saved by the Bell" child star Dustin Diamond (aka Screech) found himself the momentary butt of late night jokes about his own sex tape before he was sucked back into the obscurity from whence he came. His coinage of the phrase Dirty Sanchez now has more mileage than his name. Still, so recognizable are sex tapes as a marketing ploy that Eva Longoria even took part in a spoof tape -- in which she continuously preens for the camera -- for the Will Farrell-run site...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 02/20/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 08/13/2007

Celebritology 101: Vacation Tips from the Stars

Pam Anderson and Kid Rock married while vacationing in St. Tropez in July 2006. They divorced after only four months of marriage. Tip? Vacation hook-ups do not always a life-long commitment make. (AP) Last week while vacationing in North Carolina's Outer Banks, I couldn't help but get a little envious as I flipped through pages and pages of bikini-clad celebs looking camera-ready and rested as they spend the dog days of August in far-flung locales where nine-hour gridlock, 100-degree heat and sandy sheets are not considered the epitome of relaxation. It was perhaps while gazing at the zillionth pic of fake-baked Paris Hilton or a topless Matthew McConaughey (or maybe after too much sun and wine) that I received the following revelations. I now share them with you. 1. A vacation without paps is like the earth without oxygen. Why expend the effort to squeeze into a wet suit...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 08/13/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 06/19/2007

Celebritology 101: Picture Perfect

Nicole Richie's re-imagined baby pic. (Courtesy PlanetHiltron.com) Stars, they're just like us. Or at least they are over at planethiltron.com, a fabulously wicked collection of PhotoShopped star pix. Behold a pudgy Angelina Jolie dancing in a cluttered apartment, a cheesed out Ashlee Simpson, Paris Kennedy and a shrunken Tom Cruise. Culturally, we have an insatiable desire to buy magazines or browse Web sites filled with glossy pix of svelte, blemish-free, ageless hardbodies that look nothing like the real lumps of flesh we see in the mirror or next to us in bed. Despite some recent moves to feature "real" people in ads (Dove, for instance), we don't tend to spend our magazine money on pix tainted by the pesky signs of reality -- cellulite, zits and middle-aged spread. The not-too-secret secret is a shadowy army of photo retouchers magically manipulating PhotoShop and a veritable quiver of desktop tools designed...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 06/19/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 05/22/2007

Celebritology 101: Stalkerazzi Avoidance Tactics

Is it live or is it latex? Oh, what's the difference. (Reuters) Victoria Beckham may be plastic, but plans to snap pics of the former Spice Girl recently blew up in the faces of a horde of stalkerazzi who were chagrined to find they'd been tailing an inflatable stand-in for the former Spice Girl. Not since a pregnant Gwen Stefani hid in the backseat of her brother's car to reach the relative safety of a Target mega-store, has a group of paparazzi been so handily outwitted. While cameras were busy snapping Mrs. Beckham's latex doppelganger, the real Posh was far away, enjoying a private shopping spree at an L.A. adult novelty store. Whether this brilliant bit of surreal bait-and-switch was Posh's brainstorm has not yet been confirmed, but I'm willing to give the former Spice Girl credit for outsmarting the camera-toting mob. After all, this is the woman responsible...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 05/22/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 05/01/2007

Celebritology 101: Phil Spector's Dreadful Locks

Phil Spector is seen in court via closed circuit TV on April 26. Gallery: Spector's Hair Through the Years Forget Sanjaya's fauxhawk or Britney's shaved pate. When it comes to harebrained hairstyles, Phil Spector lays the competition to waste. Whether supporting a globe-like 'fro or a demure pageboy, the legendary rock and roll producer has proven that a little dab will do you (if your aim is convincing the rest of the world that you are, indeed, "relatively insane.") Which may be just the right cut if Spector's legal team decides to mount an insanity defense in his trial for the alleged murder of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson in 2003. The much-postponed court proceedings finally got underway last Wednesday in Los Angeles, though a sick lawyer has delayed the case for at least today. Peruse this gallery of Spector's hair over the years, from '60's mod to new millennial...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 05/01/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 03/07/2007

Busting Hollywood's Double Standard Wide Open

We spend a lot of time here talking about hair styles, fashion flubs, physical attributes and such. But, not surprisingly, when we get on the "What was X thinking?" trip, "X" usually equals a female celebrity. (For instance, this morning's links to some seriously gnarly pictures of Christina Aguilera and Sharon Stone.) Jack Black bares his rack in 'Nacho Libre.' (Paramount Pictures) If you're into this kind of entertainment (i.e. pointing and laughing at the expense of others with too much money and too little taste), you probably -- like me -- have a well-worn Go Fug Yourself bookmark, too. (If you're not familiar with it, Fug bloggers Heather and Jessica viciously, yet hilariously, rip fashion-challenged starlets to shreds daily). Again, though, a quick scan of the "Frequent Offenders" menu reveals categories for 25 women and zero men. Not much of a revelation, I know, in a world where women...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 03/07/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 03/06/2007

Celebritology 101: Celebrity Secrets Revealed!

(Courtesy Simon & Schuster, Inc.) Thanks to the proliferation of breathless blogs covering the sort of things we here in Celebritology 101 use as our primary syllabi material, we live in an age of instant gratification when it comes to getting a fresh whiff of the dirty laundry generated by our celebrity lab rats. One can hardly turn on a cable news channel or even safely check one's e-mail box without learning -- seemingly within hours, if not minutes -- that Britney Spears has whaled on a SUV with an umbrella, that Paris Hilton reportedly accessorizes her bathroom with big piles of "white powder" or that Scientology (as practiced by celebrities) is, like, weird. One almost forgets that there was a time when the Hollywood spin machine was able to keep scandalous revelations -- like sexuality, child abuse, substance abuse and even run-of-the-mill partying -- far away from the...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 03/06/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 02/01/2007

Celebritology 101: Stars We Love to Hate

That annoying Diane Keaton mugs at the premiere of her new movie, 'Because I Said So.' (Getty Images) So many stars and not enough room in our hearts to love them all. This explains why my sainted, nurturing mother can hate Matt Damon or why a friend who shall remain nameless contorts her face into a hideous mask when she catches even a brief glimpse of Jim Carrey or, to get to the point, why it is that I utterly and completely detest Diane Keaton. I apologize to the Keaton lovers out there. I'm willing to concede that Keaton is a perfectly fine actor and deserves some kind of credit for her part in movies like "Annie Hall," "The Godfather(s)" and "Reds." Grudging credit granted. Still, there is just something about the fashion-challenged, whiny, goggle-eyed woman that I find maddening. And no, beyond these superficial criticisms, I just can't...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 02/01/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 11:00 AM ET, 01/12/2007

Celebritology Clip n' Save: How to Live In America (If You're a British Soccer Star or His Wife)

The Beckhams are coming to America. Becks -- international soccer star, Mr. Posh and all around pretty boy -- is reportedly set to sign a five-year $250 million dollar contract with the MLS's L.A. Galaxy soccer team. This is apparently some kind of big deal for American soccer, as ably explained by The Post's Steven Goff and Dan Steinberg, but I'm more interested in seeing if Becks and Posh will be able to bend it like Brangelina -- meaning, how will these two English roses react to the hot Hollywood climate? Victoria and David Beckham, California bound. (AP) Hoping to ease their trip across the pond, I've called on celebrity advice SWAT team member Lisa Todorovich to help me come up with a few tips for the transplants. 1. No matter what, stay away from Paris Hilton. Her tastes tend to run more to fallen pop stars and Greek shipping...

By Liz Kelly  |  11:00 AM ET, 01/12/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 11/07/2006

Celebritology 101: When Egos Attack

A certain amount of ego is required to be successful in the entertainment world -- a certain amount of self-aggrandizement is not only expected, but necessary to get out your brand: you. But somewhere between the in-your-grill braggadocio of professional wrestlers and self-deprecating shtick of Woody Allen and Albert Brooks, one should strive to strike a happy balance between egomaniac and wallpaper. If only this lesson had been available last week, before Kanye West stormed the stage when his "Touch the Sky" failed to win best video at the European MTV Awards. West grabbed the mike and proceeded to hold forth about why he should've won -- his video cost $1 million and starred Pamela Anderson. But wait: On Monday, "sources" told the New York Post that West's hissy fit was a "prank" designed to spoof his cocky image. Do you think this man is joking? I'm not buying it....

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 11/07/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:44 AM ET, 09/12/2006

Celebritology 101: The Art of Cheek!

Today we turn our attention to the satisfying pleasure afforded by a well-written headline. Particularly in the world of celebrity news, a headline can make a paper buyable, a link clickable and elevate the subject matter from the mundane to the sublime. The surreally sublime, that is. The New York tabloids have made a passable sport out of headline-writing, mainly relying on the power of the pun to sell a few more copies. Still, New York has nothing on the British, who win the world title for clever cheeky headline-writing. No contest. Some recent examples: 'Drunken Twit' Tarrant Thrown Out by His Wife for Canoodling Busty Liz is Simply the Chest Lo' Unsteady as She Goes! It's the vocabulary, you see. The British press has embraced the colloquial and freely use slang and the latest in pop culture references (see above's "Unsteady as She Goes") when composing. Also, gone is...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:44 AM ET, 09/12/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 09/06/2006

Celebritology 101: Why Ben Affleck Should Shuddup

Warning: Viewing this picture may affect your enjoyment of 'Hollywoodland.' (AP) In Venice to promote his new movie "Hollywoodland," Ben Affleck gave the press a piece of his mind about the paparazzi and how they are ruining the film industry: "I think more and more people pay attention to actors' private lives (and that) makes it difficult to suspend disbelief when you are going to watch their movie because really what you are thinking about is whatever you have read about them in a magazine rather than the performance they are giving, and it makes the actor's job harder," Affleck said at a news conference. "The movies become incidental pit-stops and commercial breaks in the soap opera of their life." I'm glad Ben said something because this gives me, and all other shame-faced celebrity scribes, the opportunity to turn our attention to Mr. Affleck, who in recent years made...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:45 AM ET, 09/06/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:39 AM ET, 08/29/2006

Celebritology 101: Pop Quiz

Who is the smartest celeb of them all... today? a. Eric McCormack, who has handily prevented any chance of future TV mediocrity by actually choosing to avoid sitcom work now that his eight-season (syndicated) run with "Will & Grace" has come to an end. b. Meredith Vieira, who recently called "The View" a "joke" and says she no longer watches now that she is moving on to co-host the "Today" show. c. Every D-list celebrity and rusty musician who chose NOT to participate in "Celebrity Duets." d. Paris Hilton, just because. Your answer: ________________ (Answer key after the jump)...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:39 AM ET, 08/29/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:44 AM ET, 08/23/2006

Overblown Rumor of the Summer: Brangelina Breakup?

Considering the big headlines of just a couple weeks ago (Pam and Kid Rock, Mel Gibson) and the massive "SoaP" hype hangover, celebrity news sites are somewhat becalmed by a relatively uneventful late August. Cunning marketing execs try to take advantage of the news vacuum to drum up interest in novelty releases, photogs flock to pools and beaches for a few last shots of skimpy Speedos and so-what somehow passes for breaking news. Conditions are therefore perfect for The Overblown Rumor. In this instance, a rumor so anemic Nicole Richie could best it in a cage match is multiplying across the the Web like so many Tribbles. Being a responsible, restrained purveyor of celebrity scuttlebutt, I have no choice but ignore it and return to the distribution of stories of import. Who am I kidding? Brad and Angie (complete with pillow-lips), together forever in wax. (Getty Images) BRANGELINA IS ARE...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:44 AM ET, 08/23/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 08/09/2006

Celebritology 101: Lindsay Lohan & the Celebrity Spin Machine

Believe what I say, not what I do. (AP) Pay close attention to what comes out of the mouths of celebrities. They may not always mean what they say. They probably didn't actually come up with these words (remember, most are paid performers) and in most cases their utterances -- whether on Entertainment Tonight or surrounded by salt-of-the-earth villagers in Namibia -- are calculated to add value to their brand. Imagine them henceforth as officially sanctioned sociopaths very carefully manipulated by an able band of helpers. Below we study an annotated version of a very commonly used celebrity device in attempted image rehabilitation: ---- Lohan Wants to Visit U.S. Troops in Iraq The Associated Press Celebritology Annotation in Italics NEW YORK -- Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton and entertain American troops there. Lindsay Lohan has suffered some big setbacks in...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:45 AM ET, 08/09/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 07/21/2006

Essential Celebritology Vacation Reads

Next week, I'll be spending a week at the beach on a self-imposed break from blogging and all current celeb news. We all have to detox, ya know? Five guest bloggers will take turns subbing for me each day of next week. Play nice, they are all fabulous, savvy Celebritologists. (Truth be told, one or two might not harbor the same zeal for the world of celebs, but it can't hurt to look at this menagerie from a different angle. Just smile, nod and know that person will be gone the next day.) Still, I can't be expected to go cold turkey, so I've gathered a few books (and the makings of a pitcher of Mojitos) to take along to occupy the long hours on the sand, near the pool, on the chaise longue. My picks are below. I haven't read them yet, but please share your recommendations for new...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:45 AM ET, 07/21/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 07/06/2006

Celebritology 101: Mariah's Purple Passion

Celebritology 101: Mariah's Purple Passion Listen up, here's another for lesson Celebritology 101's growing syllabus: Do not look to the stars for advice or guidance on politics, diet, exercise, money management, driving or realistic aging. Mariah Carey before embarking on her purple foods regimen. (Getty Images) Although some undoubtedly live sensible, exemplary lives (the ones you don't hear much about outside of press junkets), you can never be sure when a seemingly level-headed personality will detour into the land of the absurd. Absurdity can take the form of sitting in a tree for extended periods of time, penning self-help books, acting as one's own stylist and, as you'll read below, dispensing illogical dietary advice. Mariah Carey, long considered a wit of some reknown acclaimed the world over for her demure outfits and scholarly bearing, has shaken my faith in her "smarts" by declaring that henceforth she will only eat purple...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 07/06/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 06/20/2006

My Celebrity Eating Disorder

Time for another lesson in Celebritology 101, in which I point out something rather obvious, mix it up with something you (hopefully) haven't seen before, then arrive at an unexpected conclusion, which may or may not make sense in relation to the rest of the piece. Today's lesson is a double-header: Once you're a celebrity, privacy evaporates and no matter how mundane, there is an audience for anything celebrity related. Don't pay any attention to the hideous visage of Johnny Knoxville chowing down on a snow cone. (AP) To illustrate the above, I share the following re-enacted anecdote. On Friday night, I was overcome by a serious craving for pictures of celebrities eating. Having already wasted $4.99 on "Hostel" on OnDemand, I was desperate for entertainment. Did I dare hope for such a treat? I dared. My appetite was sated by a quick Google search and the No. 1 return:...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 06/20/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101

Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 06/02/2006

The Scales of Celebrity Spokesmanship

"Celebrity spokesperson" usually invokes images of late night infomercials and '70s TV stars -- you know, flashes of Victoria Principal tending her auburn locks with a Flowbee* or Suzanne Somers detailing, in repetitive childlike tones, the glories the ThighMaster. "It's Suntory time." (AP/Focus Features) "Celebrity spokesperson" is a stop on the way down from stardom. Think Bill Murray's washed-up actor filming Japanese whiskey commercials in "Lost in Translation." Haven't had a regular job since the "Bionic Woman"? Fear not, you can find your way back into living rooms (of shut-ins and insomniacs) on late night Sleep Number Bed infomercials. "Celebrity spokesperson" is not to be confused with "The new face of..." as in "Madonna is the new face of H&M." In such cases we understand that H&M is grovelingly thankful to be paying Madonna beaucoup bucks to appear in glossy mag ads. But there's been a disturbance in the force....

By Liz Kelly  |  10:45 AM ET, 06/02/2006 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101, Celebritology 101