Celebritology 2.0: Creative Captioning


Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 12/08/2009

Caption This: Bette's queen-sized reaction

If we can possibly tear ourselves away from Tiger, I ask that we turn our collective attention to one Bette Midler, aka the Divine Miss M, who Monday pulled the face you see below upon meeting Queen Elizabeth. We can understand how that might discombobulate one, but what's with the manicure hands pose and why is that man petting her? That's where you come in. Submit your own captions for the photo in the comment section below. The best will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog. Photo: Getty Images...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 12/08/2009 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 11:28 AM ET, 10/29/2009

Caption This: When Carey met Holly

Once upon a time, Drew Carey and Holly Madison met on a red carpet in Las Vegas. Okay, so maybe it was Wednesday evening at the grand opening of Wayne Newton's new Vegas show. But what goes on here? Has Madison surprised Carey with a hand buzzer or is he just that appalled by her showgirl-meets-drapery get-up? (AP) You be the judge. Share your best shot at a faux caption for the above pic below. The top five or so will be highlighted here tomorrow. Need a little inspiration? Have a look at the ghosts of Creative Captioning past. This Week's Top Entries: 1. To his horror, Drew Carey realized, too late, that he would actually have to sit through an entire Wayne Newton show. Holly Madison, who has spent a lot of time with a geriatric gasbag who dresses like a pimp, assured him that it would not be...

By Liz Kelly  |  11:28 AM ET, 10/29/2009 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:45 AM ET, 09/03/2009

Creative Captioning: A Piven Worth a Thousand Words

(Reuters) One group of tennis fans zoomed in on the off-court action at Wednesday's U.S. Open night session, snapping a pic of Mr. Personality, Jeremy Piven (you know, this guy), in the stands. But what's the subtext? Why are those girls so excited about seeing Piven? And why does he look like he just woke from a sushi-induced coma? What goes on here? You tell me. Share your suggested captions -- be they descriptive, dialogue, abstract -- below. The top few will be elevated to a place of prominence here in the blahg. Have at it......

By Liz Kelly  |  10:45 AM ET, 09/03/2009 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:39 AM ET, 06/24/2009

Paris Hilton's New BFF?

It isn't often that we go back to the Creative Captioning well because it simply proved to be a difficult feature to sustain. We're all just so busy, who has time to sit around inventing text to accompany loopy celeb photos? Well, there are pictures and there are pictures and today what we have, my friends, is a picture. Below, please note one Paris Hilton -- socialite, reality TV star, yesterday's news -- who is currently in Dubai filming an insulting (that it's even being made) third iteration of her "My New BFF" show. Here, Hilton -- she's the one on the left -- cuddles up to a camel. A camel who appears none too pleased about the photo op. (AFP/Getty Images)) So, have at it -- hit me with your best captions. The top entries will be showcased here. Remember to keep it clean. No digit references, please....

By Liz Kelly  |  10:39 AM ET, 06/24/2009 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 09/25/2008

Creative Captioning: Rear View Reality

Thanks Fox Reality Channel Really Awards for bringing this guy to our attention. Otherwise we may have been forced to snark on yet another picture of a much celebrated face. But thanks to you, Fox Reality Channel Really Awards, we have seen the light. We don't need a famous face, per se, to unleash our Creative Captioning creativity. Who needs faces at all when there are so many other assets worthy of comment? And maybe it is this stunt, captured here in perpetuity, that will prove to be this jack-- this guy's big break. And I have to admit, Fox Reality Channel Really Awards, that I'm a teensy bit proud that I had to turn to Google to learn that our man, Dominico, is a former "Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" hopeful and current star of MTV's "That's Amore." I guess the undies were a clue. You know the...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 09/25/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 08/19/2008

Caption This: We're Suri You're So Cute

While our Creative Captioning exercises usually devolve into a snarkfest within the first few minutes, today's picture (it is hoped) can only inspire us to reach the warm, fuzzy and eternally sunny heights of shameless gushing. Because, no matter how one feels about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Thetans or baggy jeans -- Suri Cruise is one of the most adorable children to ever step in front of a camera. Come on, you know it -- she makes LOL Cats and even this ridiculously sappy thing look like a piece of highway construction equipment. Even this sneezing baby panda would have a hard tim holding his own next to our girl Suri. She's that cute. Just give in. (SplashNews) You know the drill. Share your hilariously apt captions below and the best entry will win its writer the title of "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Aug. 17 - 23....

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 08/19/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning, Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 07/30/2008

Creative Captioning: Chris Martin's Got the Look

He's married to insouciant Gwyneth Paltrow and dreamt of by Miley Cyrus, so what could Chris Martin possibly have to fear? Perhaps he's horrified at yet another "mommy afternoon" visit from Gwynnie's pal Madonna? Whatever the case, it is up to you to diagnose Mr. Martin's major malfunction and craft it into the witty winning caption that will forever claim you the title of Official Celebritology Captionologist for the week of July 28 - Aug. 1. The best entries will be listed here Monday. (AP)...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 07/30/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 07/10/2008

Creative Captioning: Pam Splits for Australia

(Reuters) Some people think Pam Anderson is just a pretty face, a bod, a vapid dress form who manages to stay on our radar only because she fills out a bikini like nobody's business and has made a PR strategy out of serial marriages. Well, eat it, you haters, because Pam has proven to all of us time and again that she (in order from real to not so real) is a multi-talented actress, model, animal rights crusader, mom, magician's assistant, lifeguard, private eye, action hero and object of Borat's affection. And in an appearance on Australia's "Big Brother" Pam has revealed yet another skill -- the ability to splay her legs across a TV studio floor while wearing nothing but a pillow case and a pair of 4-inch heels. Brava! Crikey! (Reuters) Aussies may have Nicole Kidman, but can she do this? One need only look at the...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 07/10/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 06/12/2008

Creative Captioning: Dynamic Duos

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na: Has Beens! Don't look now, but an unlikely pair shared the same airspace at Tuesday night's match up between the L.A. Lakers and the Boston Celtics: Sylvester Stallone and Eddie Murphy. Rambo and Gumby. Rocky and Bowfinger. I could go on. But, more importantly, where did Sly find the acid washed jeans? What's with Eddie's Velcro kicks? And what, I wonder, is Stallone thinking as he looks, umm, sly-ly at his seatmate? I can hardly wait for you to tell me. (Getty Images) And, for those of you who (like me) are suffering from debilitating "Lost" withdrawal, I offer a second photo in need of a little caption TLC. Behold co-stars Jorge Garcia and Naveen Andrews having a little fun at the Monte Carlo Television Festival (who knew?) yesterday. But, surely we can come up with a better cutline for this comedic pair. Bonus points for working Smoke Monsters...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 06/12/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 11:32 AM ET, 01/10/2008

Creative Captioning: Inside Joke?

Why are these women laughing? Giddiness? Nerves? Recreational pharmaceuticals? One can only guess what could possibly inspire this level of human emotion from robo-Bride Katie Holmes and Diane I-Never-Met-a-Prom-Tux (or-a-Cheesy-Movie-Script) I-Didn't-Like Keaton. One thing of which we can be sure? Much merriment can be made at their expense. That's where you come in. Go ahead, tickle our funny bone. Point and laugh. Skewer with your best, umm, skewer. Share your creative caption below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Jan. 6 - 12. Honorable mention will be made of the most rabid rant(s) about the inanity of caption contests. (Getty Images)...

By Liz Kelly  |  11:32 AM ET, 01/10/2008 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 11/15/2007

Creative Captioning: Oh, Rihanna!

My first impression of the photo below? That one of those boots would make a great lamp base, kind of like that kickin' fishnet leg lamp from "A Christmas Story." My second thought was "did Cher bob her hair?" But then I looked a little closer and, horrified, realized that this is actually neither Cher nor Lita Ford, but 19-year-old (usually glam) pop prodigy Rihanna. Maybe she didn't realize pix from her Wednesday concert in Switzerland would make it over to this side of the Atlantic. But, silly girl, we live in a global village and, let me tell you, it doesn't take a village to know that this get-up has got to go. Let's hope she learns her lesson before her performance at Sunday's American Music Awards. Help Rihanna get the message by submitting your own captions for the photo above. The best entry will be elevated to a...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 11/15/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 11/01/2007

Creative Captioning: This Kitten Has Claws

We can't help but love that curt Heidi Klum when she bloodlessly axes hopeful designers from her Bravo hit "Project Runway." "You're auf," says she, looking all cute and pouty and ready to bounce contestants physically for failure to comply. And I get the warm fuzzies when I see candid pix of Klum out and about with her picture perfect family. Sure I may spit up in my mouth just a little, but that's a small price to pay for the chance to witness this model citizen's world. What, I wonder, would "Runway" co-host Tim Gunn say about the ensemble below? That's where we come in. This week we turn our well-practiced caption creation skills loose on Ms. Klum. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 11/01/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 10/25/2007

Creative Captioning: TomKat Strut

(AP) At first glance this photo appears to be yet another typical red carpet scene: A Hollywood power couple and their blinding starpower promoting a new project -- in this case Tom Cruise's new movie "Lions for Lambs." But perhaps all is not as it appears. After all, this is TomKat and the Creative Captionologist (hint hint) knows this picture is worth a thousand words. Or at least 10 or 20. What is to be made of Tom's high-and-tight new 'do or Katie's seemingly oversized bustier? And what, one wonders, is Cruise thinking as he gazes into the ear of his young bride? Perhaps dreaming about -- just once -- saying no to Suri? You know the drill. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 10/25/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:42 AM ET, 10/04/2007

Creative Captioning: When Billy Met Jack

Thanks to the American Film Institute's 40th anniversary celebration for bringing together the unlikely pair below. From the balding pates to the black blazers, these two could almost be clones if it weren't for the fact that a true genetic match would have probably resulted in both of these ghosts of Hollywood past being ridiculously talented. In any case, this mismatch makes rich fodder for this week's Creative Captioning exercise in which you tell us what's happening below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Oct. 1 - 5. C'mon, give it some thought. Submit more than one. All work and no play makes [your name here] a dull boy/girl. (AP) Top Captions: 1. You can't handle the receding hairline. -- Irish_Ed 2....

By Liz Kelly  |  10:42 AM ET, 10/04/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 09/27/2007

Creative Captioning: Spect(o)ral Analysis

This much we know: Just moments after a judge declared a mistrial in the murder case against Phil Spector, he and wife Rachelle exited the L.A. Superior Court. What we don't know, though, speaks volumes. What thought was going through the reclusive music producer's mind here? Is his wife elated or secretly annoyed that he'll be home to share the hairspray for quite some time? If anyone knows, it's you. Share your alternate captions below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Sept. 23 - 29. Deliver your sentence(s) below... (AP) Winning Captions 1. Phil Spector can't believe the "Wall of Crap" defense was so effective. -- lydacole 2. People lots people nice people photo snap-snap sunny day apple scruffs BOIL SNUFFY BUNNY!...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 09/27/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 09/13/2007

Creative Captioning: Courtney Love's Celebrity Skin

Oh Courtney, have you ever looked so used up as this? You're a rock goddess -- not only did you marry grunge martyr Kurt Cobain, but you turned out two defining albums with your own band, Hole. We want to love you, but you scare us. And, thanks to the snapshot below you've landed in a very bad place -- as the subject of this week's Creative Captioning contest. Let me explain. Inspired by your pic, Celebritology readers will craft hilarious captions -- some innocuous, some catty, some absurd and some borderline offensive. Doubtless some tsk-tsking will take place to admonish us all for having a little bit of fun at your expense. But, hey, at least you're not wearing Comme Des Garçons (I think). The best caption will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blahg and its writer will earn the right to tattoo his...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 09/13/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 09/06/2007

Creative Captioning: Debbie's Hairy Get Up

This week, I'm chagrined to find Debbie Harry the focus of our weekly exercise in snarkology. She's an icon. A goddess. She's Blondie, dammit. But, after spotting the photo below, well, how could I in good conscience pass up this rich opportunity for a little dose of creative captioning? Harry (who recently admitted that she'd injected sheep embryos in a bid to retain her youthful looks) it seems, deemed her ensemble appropriate to wear at a launch party for Tommy Hilfiger's new book, "Iconic America: A Roller-Coaster Ride through the Eye-Popping Panorama of American Pop Culture." Eye-popping, indeed. But surely we can do better. Share your own alternate captions below. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in the blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Sept. 3 - 7. (AP) Winning...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 09/06/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 08/30/2007

Creative Captioning: Chris Kattan's Racket

Another week, another mildly embarrassing B-lister photo op. This week's offering features Chris Kattan -- one-time "SNL" funnyman (Mango) and game-show host hopeful -- at a U.S. Open Kids' Day event. Surely we can do better than the AP, though, in coming up with a caption to describe this perfect storm (the miniskirt, the stripe of zinc oxide on the schnozz, the oversized tennis racket, the strained smile) of freakishness. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in Celebritology-land and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Aug. 27 - 31. (Check out last week's winning caption.) (AP) Top Five Entries: 1. "Does this skirt make my career look bigger?" -- DJ 2. "Hey, can someone take a picture of my descent into obscurity?" -- madfoot 3. Kattan whips out his own camera when...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 08/30/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning

Posted at 10:43 AM ET, 08/23/2007

Creative Captioning: Vincent Pastore & Kitty Cat

While scanning photo wires this morning, I came across the image below -- "Sopranos" alum Vincent Pastore and a ridiculously adorable kitten hamming it up at some sort of cat food-sponsored event (Hollywood, so glam). This picture, I thought, is crying out for a little creative captioning. So, today, release your inner copy editor and craft the best blurb you can for why this bear of a man is pawing this little puff ball. Keep it clean, please. We all know what Pastore's name on "The Sopranos" was -- surelywe're more creative than that. The best entry will be elevated to a position of prominence here in da blog and the writer of that entry may call him (or her) self "Official Celebritology Captionologist" for the week of Aug. 20 - 24. (Getty Images) Update, 8.24.07: The winner of this week's contest is sjcpeach with "Say hello to my little...

By Liz Kelly  |  10:43 AM ET, 08/23/2007 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Categories:  Creative Captioning