What kind of a guy breaks into a maximum security penitentiary on the renovated island of Alcatraz? In "Half Past Dead," Morris Chestnut plays such a moron, a violent psychopath named Donny who intends to force a condemned man (Bruce Weitz) on the eve of his execution to reveal where he hid $200 million in gold bullion. What's Donny going to do? Threaten to kill him?
That's just one of several barn-door-size holes in this far-fetched action flick, which also stars Steven Seagal as do-ragged inmate Sascha Petrosevitch, the FBI's last, best hope when Donny takes as a hostage the Supreme Court justice (Linda Thorson) who just happens to be there to witness the execution. Seagal is so beefy and lethargic, there's hardly room for anyone else on the screen, let alone the roster of spotlight-hogging music stars who crowd out the cast: rappers Ja Rule and Kurupt as fellow prisoners and dance-pop flop Nia Peeples as Donny's vinyl-clad, midriff-baring right-hand woman.
Steven Seagal and Ja Rule flash some attitude in "Half Past Dead."
(Columbia Pictures)
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Here, common sense flies out the window, along with the hail of bullets, none of which ever seem to hit Sascha. He must be coated with some kind of space-age polymer . . . or is that just the grease from all those pepperoni pizzas he appears to have been eating?
HALF PAST DEAD (PG-13, 105 minutes) – Contains pervasive martial arts and gun violence and some crude language. Area theaters.
