Driving to Pennsylvania on a Friday afternoon in January, I have murder on my mind. Would I survive the weekend? No, if anyone was going to die, I surmised, it was going to be a regular. The Allenberry Resort Inn and Playhouse in Boiling Springs wouldn't leave such an important role in its murder mystery weekend to an amateur. Would it?
Truth is, I didn't know what to expect when I left Washington in the aftermath of the Bush inauguration, only to become immersed in other politics, this time a more local, fictional and lethal election. "The Ballot Box Murders" at the Allenberry is about an imaginary Boiling Springs mayoral election that dissolves into an awful lot of mayhem for such a tiny little town.
Not to worry, though. The weekend came with instructions. At check-in, I was handed a "Special Election Edition" of the Boiling Springs Observer, a pink campaign button and a sheet explaining how the weekend would unfold. "Some [players] make grand entrances," the page said. "Some make early and permanent exits."
The Allenberry is a sprawling, handsome property. Some of the rooms in the historic buildings had lovely features, including wooden four-poster beds with canopies and bookshelves loaded with old volumes. My room was more on the Comfort Inn level: basic, not particularly charming, but with such nice touches as two small bottles of wine and a heart-shaped box of chocolates on the bed one night.
It was at the Friday evening cocktail hour that things veered away from normal inn life. The action takes place at meals, and the acting doesn't stop until the players step out of character at Sunday brunch. In between, guests can do yoga or line dancing, walk the grounds or get massages.
Some of the actors in the murder mystery are local while others are dues-paying actors down from New York. One played opposite Jerry Orbach in "42nd Street" on Broadway and with Jerry Lewis in "Damn Yankees!" on tour and in London. Another danced with the Joffrey Ballet.
At a cocktail party Friday night, more than 100 guests met the three "candidates": Simpson Main, the incumbent mayor; Lester Gunter, the chief of the BSPD (the real town doesn't have a police department); and Tulliver Applecart, a former "Transportation Steering Specialist" (truck driver) and lottery winner.
Applecart, slinging back a beer on his way to the podium, summarized his platform this way: "If I'm smart enough to win the lottery, I'm smart enough to be mayor."
And then, before the waiters could even clear the hors d'oeuvres, we had our dead man. Several thugs in black coats and sunglasses burst in through the glass door and plugged empty-headed Applecart -- using very loud blanks. Some guests were recruited by the police to help guard the doors. "This is certainly an exciting place," says Ralph Jones, a guest from Hagerstown who's been coming for eight years.
Hmm. Exciting wasn't my first reaction. Overacted, maybe. Corny, possibly. Certainly this was no refined country-house mystery on the order of Agatha Christie. We had our body, room and weapon -- Mr. Applecart in the dining room with the revolver -- all before the salad. All that was left of this whodunit was, well, who done it.
But repeat guests come year after year, some from as far as Tennessee and Illinois on this weekend. I witnessed several first-timers already signing up for their next visit. I decided to withhold judgment.
We moved from the cocktail crime scene into a different dining room, which quickly became another crime scene -- as well as cabaret and stage. There were two more murders, a speech and some songs from Natasha LaMocha, a washed-up, alcoholic vamp. Pretty simmering town, Boiling Springs.
Thomi Applecart, widow of Tulliver and a former child clown, stood up to declare her own candidacy. A waiter was dragged off at fork point by a bad guy in sunglasses.
And sometime after the shrimp cocktail, Lance Wango Sr. entered the room in a police uniform and Dudley Do-Right hat, accompanied by a long fanfare from a boombox. Wango was no Hercule Poirot. "I'm not so quick on my feet anymore," said the addled senior (77 in real life). "I suffer from night blindness and I don't hear so good."
Sgt. Pepper Freckle, also on the case, entered the dining room blowing a whistle. "Listen up," she bellowed. "Three people are dead and we haven't even had dessert."
Call me clueless, but it took me until breakfast Saturday to grasp that my expectations had been off. I had anticipated something cunning and clever, a sort of live "Murder on the Orient Express." Instead, this was a madcap romp -- Barney Fife in "CSI: Boiling Springs."
Only then did I begin to laugh along. The twists and turns did make for some silly action. At a "mayoral race," we watched (after a pleasant morning bonfire) the candidates literally chase each other around a field in golf carts. Thomi Applecart's was decorated with beer cans and pink fuzzy dice.
The Allenberry doesn't only serve up murder mysteries, which run through the winter. Beginning in March, a free-standing playhouse presents such shows as "Godspell" and "Beauty and the Beast."
The resort also welcomes serious fishing aficionados to the "Yellow Breeches" stream out back -- a prime catch-and-release fly-fishing spot 365 days a year. The property also is near the Appalachian Trail and hiking is a warm-weather activity for many of the guests.
On a snowy walking tour, we learned that the original land grant was from William Penn to the Crockett brothers (family members who preceded Davy). The main building, Fairfield Hall, where much of the murderous action and several of the meals take place, was built in 1785. A limestone barn built in 1812 houses the Carriage Room, site of our morning meals.
Saturday breakfast brought more mayhem. Lunch brought more murder. At 8 a.m., Mayor Simpson was jumping up and down with an amen speech shouting, "Who're you gonna vote for, who're you gonna vote for?"
Playwright Bob Crawford, who plays Police Chief Gunter, has written 15 of the scripts during the 19 seasons the show has gone on.
Comedy is his top priority. And he purposely includes many, many confusing clues. Spectacle also is important. The crowds this year are startled by a victim who drops out of the ceiling in a noose. Another year, a diver in a wetsuit emerged from the creek and started shooting. "You see things here you don't normally see in live performances," he said.
By Saturday night, it was time for more guests to get into the act. At a costume cocktail party, all of the actors and some of the guests dressed as their favorite crime fighters or criminals (guests are told about the party when they book). Nick and Nora Charles and their dog Asta mingled with Boris and Natasha, Dick Tracy, Charles Manson and the Beagle brothers, among others. If some of these characters don't ring a bell, you may not be in the age range of the typical guest.
By the time the mystery was solved at Sunday brunch, I really didn't care who did it. The show was the thing.
But if you must know, the mastermind behind the killings was . . . an anti-social, delusional, selectively narcissistic, schizophrenic manic-depressive with homicidal tendencies. I hope I haven't given anything away.
Escape Keys
GETTING THERE: The Allenberry Resort Inn and Playhouse is at 1559 Boiling Springs Rd., Boiling Springs, Pa., about two hours from Washington. Take I-270 to Route 15 at Frederick, then Route 74 east to Route 174 east.
BEING THERE: The inn's Murder Mystery Weekends are held most weekends through mid-April (800-430-5468, www.allenberry.com). Rates start at $350 per person double occupancy and go up to $916. The action gets going early so you'll want to arrive by 6:30, when the first cocktail hour starts. Bring paper and pencil if you plan to sleuth. Participants who score high on the trivia quiz on Sunday win prizes ranging from T-shirts and bottles of champagne to a season pass to the shows at the playhouse. Would-be actors can volunteer to play bit parts at several points in the show. No one is coerced. Costumes are encouraged but not required for the Saturday night cocktail party.
EATING THERE: New Year's resolutions are history when entrees like prime rib and filet mignon are served with cheese-stuffed potatoes and green beans wrapped in bacon, and sticky buns are available at all meals. There is no shortage of food at the Allenberry but it helps to like sauces, cream soups and fried food. Dinners are sit-down, while other meals, and cocktail hours, are buffet style. All meals and hors d'oeuvres are included in the price of the weekend. Complimentary wine is served with dinner.
SOME OTHER MYSTERY INNS: At La Villa Romaine, Petersburg, Va., mystery weekends are held monthly and guests become characters. Rates start at $450 per couple (800-243-0860, www.lavilla.tierranet.com). Rocky Gap Lodge in Flintstone, Md., offers four shows on weekends through June ($123 per person per night, 800-724-0828, www.rockygapresort.com). The Inn at Jim Thorpe, in Jim Thorpe, Pa., has "A Weekend to Kill For!" April 1-3. From $289 per person (800-329-2599, www.murdermystery.com/cities/JimThorpe.html). West Virginia State Parks present murder mystery weekends at Pipestem Resort, Blackwater Falls, North Bend and Hawks Nest state parks in March and April (www.wvstateparks.com/calendar.html#mar).
INFO: Hershey-Capital Region Visitors Bureau, 877-727-8573, www.pacapitalregions.com.
