THE ISSUE is not whether "The Scorpion King" is a good movie. (C'mon, people: It's a prefab blockbuster starring a wrestler. What do you think?) Twenty years into the "Event Movie" era launched by (the recently rereleased) "E.T.," we understand that it's all about the concept. And this one's a little off.
"The Scorpion King" is being pitched as a prequel to the big-money "Mummy" series of recent summers past, but that's very misleading. Whereas those movies were breezy action-comedies in the "Indiana Jones" vein, the new film is in the noble-lone-warrior-takes-on-evil-powerful-guy tradition. Furthermore, the Scorpion King as introduced in "The Mummy Returns" was the evil powerful guy. Here, he's the noble lone warrior. What gives?
The Rock, aka Dwayne Johnson, is "The Scorpion King."
(Universal Pictures)
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The one constant is the big-muscled presence of World Wrestling Federation superstar the Rock (aka Dwayne Douglas Johnson) in the kingly role. Spin has it that studio bigwigs were so impressed with his cameo in "Returns" that they decided to build a whole movie around him. Since that performance consisted almost entirely of snarling, sweating and swinging a broadsword, it's more likely the producers simply looked at professional wrestling's ratings and demographics and wanted some of that pie.
Chances are, they're going to get it, too. "The Scorpion King," directed by Chuck Russell, appears poised to rule the spring box office just as the "Mummy" movies did. But, watching the film, you can't help wondering if producers and audiences alike would have been better served by jettisoning the "Mummy" tie-in altogether. The star is charismatic enough, but his decidedly modern-day sensibility is at odds with the 3,000 B.C. setting and the iconic demands of the story.
Mathayus (the Rock) is an assassin hired by a council of beleaguered tribes – including the skeptical Nubians, led by Balthazar (Michael Clarke Duncan) – to kill the seer who has led power-mad Memnon (Steven Brand) to victory over their neighbors. The mystical visionary turns out to be a hottie (Kelly Hu), who saves Mathayus's bacon when his first attempt on Memnon goes awry. What follows is a fairly by-the-books blend of action and romance with sprinklings of intentional and unintentional comedy. The movie doesn't stink exactly, but it comes dispiritingly close.
With his larger-than-life physique, the Rock would seem to fit comfortably into the Schwarzenegger/Van Damme/Seagal action-hero mold. But those predecessors shared a certain narcissistic hubris that made them credible tough guys, especially early in their careers. (Mid-career efforts to add dimension to their personas arguably rendered them uninteresting.) The Rock's tough-guy shtick in the ring is hipper, more self-aware. His trademark cocked eyebrow might be past its prime as a pop-culture signifier, but it captures perfectly his charmingly cartoonish menace. Unfortunately, there's hardly a raised eyebrow in the film.
To his credit (and the movie's detriment), the Rock attempts to make Mathayus a distinct, realistic character. But, stripped of irony and swagger, he's just a decent, likable guy who happens to be built like a god. Good with a sword? Sure. Ready to rumble? Heck yeah. Capital "H" Heroic? Not so much.
The absence of the Rock persona is a bit of a puzzle, since the studio cut a deal with the WWF in order to use the name "The Rock" in the film's credits and promotion. "The Scorpion King" is perhaps the most expensive product placement ever, but the product is nowhere to be seen. Instead of the Rock, we get neophyte actor Dwayne Johnson. True, he does a serviceable job, but is that the point?
The supporting cast doesn't offer much help. Duncan's Nubian warlord is another gentle giant trying to play tough and the actor's struggles with the script's ludicrous Biblical-epic syntax are tragicomic. As the all-knowing seer driving the plot, Hu's featherweight performance is more surfer-girl than sorceress. Together, she and the Rock come off like the Homecoming King and Queen of an undemanding Babylonian junior college.
Given the right vehicle, this Dwayne Johnson fellow might be a movie star. The same could be said for the Rock. Too bad "The Scorpion King" doesn't do the trick for either one.
THE SCORPION KING (PG-13, 92 minutes) – Contains intense but splatter-free violence. Area theaters.
