"Excuse me, I'm looking for some kind of fertility thing. Do you know where I'll find it?"
Of all the questions you might not expect to be asked in a cemetery, this one could top the list. Then again, we're in Pere Lachaise, Paris's exquisite and storied graveyard, final resting place of more than a million souls -- many of them famously dead, some infamously, and for a variety of unusual and often culturally revealing reasons. In fact, Didier, a cemetery guard who doesn't want to give his last name, is not surprised to hear the question at all, especially from the lips of a young American woman who has just wandered up to us.
"It's almost always foreign women who ask," he says with a knowing smile.
Tourists are fascinated by Pere Lachaise, and with good reason: You could spend days and not take in all of the approximately 100,000 sculptures, monuments and crypts that are breathtaking testaments to the artful, French way of death.
This elegant necropolis -- an outdoor museum, really, in the 20th arrondissement on the far eastern edge of the city -- is particularly wonderful to stroll through during the month of August, when much of the city shuts down as many Parisians leave for vacation. Pere Lachaise is still open, crowds are small, the weather is lovely and admission is free. Add in the numerous celebrity graves -- Sarah Bernhardt, Edith Piaf, Oscar Wilde, Heloise and Abelard, Moliere and Chopin, to name but a few -- and it's no surprise that many of the estimated 2 million foreigners who visit Pere Lachaise every year find it irresistible.
For instance, I would have guessed this young woman was looking for the one grave everyone who comes here seems to want to see: that of Jim Morrison, former lead singer of the Doors and a spectacular hedonist over whom women still swoon. Morrison came to the City of Light in 1971 for a short break from rock-and-roll but, because of an apparent drug overdose, ended up staying a lot longer than planned. Didier and I are just a few feet away from Morrison's headstone and, in fact, the perpetual crowds of fans flocking to see it is the reason the guard is posted here: Sometimes they vandalize other tombs.
But the young woman, who may not have even been born when Morrison died, shows not the least interest in the rock icon. She's earnestly proffering a map of the cemetery, which Didier takes and then points to, saying, as he's apparently said many times before, "You want the grave of Victor Noir. He is in Division 92. Do you know who he was?"
All she knows, she says, is that she and her husband had heard that there's a grave here associated with fertility. Didier smiles even more while he explains: Victor Noir was a Parisian journalist during the reign of Napoleon III; had the reputation of a ladies' man; said to have cuckolded one of the emperor's cousins, who, asserting aristocratic rights, shot and killed him. His tomb is decorated with a life-size bronze statue of him, lying flat and dressed as he was when he died. The statue sports a noticeable bulge, and women who are having trouble conceiving rub it in order to better their chances. According to legend, it works.
"But don't do it," Didier cautions the woman, who is now joined by her husband. "You'll get in trouble if we catch you. And besides, that's not how you get pregnant. The old-fashioned way is still the best." He roars with laughter. Nonetheless, the couple thank him and mosey off in the direction of Division 92.
Pere Lachaise is not only the largest of Paris's 20 cemeteries. With roughly 118 acres and 12,000 trees -- some amid huge swaths of manicured grass -- it also qualifies as the city's largest park, bigger even than the Bois de Boulogne. It isn't near many of the usual tourist sites and attractions, but it is well worth the trip, and not just for its pleasures as essentially a stone garden full of artworks by some of France's greatest sculptors. Unique social history is very much alive here, because the French way of death speaks volumes about the French way of life.
Pere Lachaise traces its roots back to the Reign of Terror, when bodies literally piled up as the guillotine worked overtime, creating gruesome backlogs. Around the turn of the century, the Parisian government bought a piece of land then beyond the eastern walls of the city, a tract that had once belonged to Jesuits and was named after Pere Lachaise, confessor of Louis ("After me, the flood") XIV. According to Thomas Kselman's book "Death and the Afterlife in Modern France," the design of the new graveyard was heavily influenced by English landscape architecture.
When Pere Lachaise opened in 1804, almost no one purchased any plots. It wasn't until Balzac started writing short stories in which dead characters were buried in Pere Lachaise that Parisians started buying into the place.
Today, Pere Lachaise is like a city within a city. High stone walls cut off almost all the noise from the surrounding neighborhoods, two of which -- Menilmontant and Belleville -- are among the new hip sections of Paris. Because of generally lower rents, many artists and artisans have moved in and set up shop in these areas full of narrow streets and old apartment buildings.
Trendy Rue Oberkampf runs right through the center of Menilmontant. Many of its ooh-la-la chic bistros and restaurants are closed during August, but for me that's part of the appeal of Paris at this time. Fewer people looking for food or drink means shorter waits to get seated and served. A shuttered, vacationing Paris also makes for many pleasant, leisurely walks through neighborhoods that can be as quiet as, well, a graveyard.
Atop a massively thick and roughly 30-foot-tall concrete pedestal adorned with bas-relief sculpture, gargoyles and skulls sits a sarcophagus bearing the remains of early 19th-century illusionist and magician Etienne Gaspard Robert, a.k.a. Robertson, who specialized in phantasmagoric spectacles. Robertson's grave, however, has already outlasted his fame. Meanwhile, such enduring, influential artists as Marcel Proust and Amedeo Modigliani lie under forgettable, standard-issue slabs.
Similarly, if the late-19th-century poet Georges Rodenbach is remembered at all today, it's most likely because of his headstone, the top of which is lifted open like a lid on a box, revealing an arresting sculpture of the poet's naked torso and head and his extended right arm with a rose in hand. By contrast, the headstone of Jim Morrison, who's still selling records, is a common marker.
Death and irony have a thing for each other in France.
The rise of the French middle class during the 19th century heralded a new economic force and identity that could claim a lasting place in eternity by way of elaborate cemetery monuments, something that previously only the aristocracy could afford. This is why some of the most stunning sculptures in Pere Lachaise grace the tombs of people you've probably never heard of. Statues of hooded weeping figures, sad-looking angels, melancholy nudes: All are rendered in such exquisite detail they could be in the Louvre. Instead, they're here, all over the place.
Then there's the mausoleum of Georges Seurat, resting unobtrusively on the edge of one of the many cobblestone paths, holding the remains of the painter and eight members of his family. It's a comparatively small affair, with an open grate in front of a marble altar not much bigger than a chair and bearing a cross and a pair of candlesticks. A middle-aged French couple is peering inside when I pass by, and a young artist -- one of many dispersed throughout the cemetery today -- is sketching the mausoleum. A group of children led by adults later gathers around it. During the ensuing lecture, the kids seem more interested in some of the fantastically Gothic crypts nearby.
The grave of Rene Lalique, the famed glassmaker, sports a gleaming crystal cross embedded in the otherwise simple granite marker. Dom Perignon's grave has an iron fence surrounding it and a good view of a nearby winding path, but that's about all. Georges Bizet, the composer, is remembered with a bust of him gazing in the distance; unfortunately, his view of Edenic greenery, sloping paths and visitors seated on benches on a warm and sunny afternoon is blocked by the fat mausoleum of an obscure family. Ditto for the man who more or less made Pere Lachaise the cemetery of the stars -- Balzac himself.
Of course, some of those who were flamboyantly large in life remain so in death. Oscar Wilde's tomb looks as if it flew in from Cairo -- literally. It's an enormous block of granite, one side of which the noted sculptor Jacob Epstein chiseled a winged, naked Egyptian deity streaking through mid-air. A male deity, that is, for it was once fully anatomically correct. Was: Local legend says the salient part was broken off and stolen either by vandals, admirers or the cemetery director (who supposedly used it as a paperweight).
Which brings me back to Victor Noir. After a two-hour stroll that has taken me past the quietly beautiful graves of Gertrude Stein, Simone Signoret, Yves Montand, Isadora Duncan and Colette -- not to mention the ashes of Maria Callas and Richard Wright, housed in the columbarium -- I am standing in front of the notorious womanizer's plot. The bronze sculpture has weathered into a dull patina, except for the crotch, which shines from having been rubbed so regularly. I half expect to see a smile on the statue's face. But Noir is more or less expressionless. For a Frenchman, it seems discretion is the better part of ardor, even in death.
William Triplett last wrote for Travel about hiking in Australia.
Details: Paris in August
GETTING THERE: Air France and United fly nonstop from Washington Dulles to Paris, and several other airlines, including Delta, Continental and US Airways, also offer convenient connecting flights from Reagan National and BWI. Usually, you can expect to pay upward of $800 for August travel, although sale fares of under $700 are occasionally offered.
WHERE TO STAY: We found several decent deals on hotels in Paris in August, ranging from the luxurious to the economical.
The Radisson SAS Hotel (78 Ave. Marceau, 800-333-3333, www.radisson.com) is a new boutique business hotel with 46 rooms. Though just two blocks from the Arc de Triomphe, it's extremely quiet and stylish inside. Doubles normally about $408 a night are $230 during August -- still not cheap, but one of the best deals going for high-end digs.
The Courtyard Marriott Paris-Neuilly (58 Blvd. Victor Hugo, 888-236-2427, www.courtyard.com) is near Saint Michel on the Left Bank, pretty much in the heart of the Latin Quarter -- an easy walk from the Luxembourg Gardens and Saint-Germain-des-Pres, where Jean-Paul Sartre used to hang. To get a room for $163 instead of the usual $210, you must book online at www.paris-touristoffice.com.
The Terrass Hotel (12 Rue Joseph de Maistre, 011-33-1-46-06-72-85, www.terrass-hotel.com) is close to Sacre Coeur and not too far from the Champs Elysees and the Opera. There are some splendidly ornate singles and doubles, going for $177 this month vs. the usual $220.
The Hotel de Longchamp (68 Rue de Longchamp, 011-33-1-44-34-24-14, www.hotel-longchamp.com) is about halfway between the Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe. Doubles, usually about $137, are discounted 20 percent throughout August.
Farther afield, the Forest-Hill Hotel Meudon (40 Ave. du Marechal de Lattre de Tassigny, 011-33-1-45-54-13-14, www.foresthill-hotels.com/meudon-velizy) is on the western outskirts of the city, along the edge of Meudon Wood. Ten minutes by train, though, and you're in the heart of Paris. Rooms in August are $68 instead of $95.
WHERE TO EAT: Here are three restaurants open in August -- 24 hours even.
Le Grand Cafe (4 Blvd. des Capucines, ninth arrondissement) specializes in seafood. Try, for a starter, the creamed plum tomatoes with crayfish. The bass in salt crust is also highly recommended. Set menus start at $27.50; expect to pay about $37 when ordering á la carte (tax and tip, but not wine, included).
The specialty at Au Pied de Cochon (6 Rue Coquillière, first arrondissement) is stuffed pig's trotter Perigord style. Or try the braised monkfish tournedos in sauce. Set menus begin at about $38.
Pub Saint Germain (17 Rue de l'Ancienne Comédie, sixth arrondissement) is a real German pub, featuring no less than 500 beers from around the world. Tartares, roasted meats, salads and pastries are the renowned dishes. Dinner is usually less than $20 per person.
WHAT TO DO:Pere Lachaise cemetery is a virtual Hall of Fame of dead celebrities that attracts many rock-star, literary and cultural pilgrims -- as well as the odd fertility-seeking couple. The 118-acre "park," on the eastern edge of the city, has its own Metro stop. There is no charge to wander around; hours vary according to the day and season, but it rarely opens before 8 a.m. or closes before 5:30 p.m. Pick up a map on the grounds for quicker grave spotting.
When you tire of grave sites, visit Paris Beach. The banks of the River Seine have been transformed into a beach where you can play volleyball, watch street entertainers, listen to all sorts of music or just sit back and enjoy the sun. Also check out the Moonlight Cinema program: Every evening until Aug. 25, 18 films set in Paris will be shown around the city in a different Parisian neighborhood, park, garden or sports arena. Details: www.forumdesimages.net. For info on August events or other monthly activities, check www.quartierdete.com (in French), www.timeout.com/paris and www.paris-tourism.com.
INFORMATION: Paris Tourism Office, 011-33-892-68-31-12, www.paris-touristoffice.com; French Government Tourist Office, 410-286-8310, www.francetourism.com.
-- William Triplett
