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ComPost: January, 2013

Posted at 05:15 PM ET, 01/31/2013

The magical land of NRAnia

A magical land. You can access it by sticking your head deep into a wardrobe at any given NRA press conference.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:15 PM ET, 01/31/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  gun control

Posted at 08:00 AM ET, 01/31/2013

In defense of those cuddly killer cats

I speak for the cat!

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 AM ET, 01/31/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 02:49 PM ET, 01/30/2013

Zimbabwe has $217?

Once it paid its civil servants it was down to a very manageable amount.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:49 PM ET, 01/30/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  zimbabwe

Posted at 01:09 PM ET, 01/30/2013

Alicia Keys and BlackBerry? A match made in -- somewhere

Stranger things have happened at sea!

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:09 PM ET, 01/30/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  blackberry

Posted at 08:01 AM ET, 01/30/2013

Breaking! Hillary Clinton is 'not inclined' to do something

Sometimes "not inclined" is not just a cigar.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:01 AM ET, 01/30/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 04:46 PM ET, 01/29/2013

The dawn of the hipster Twinkie?

We thought it couldn't happen.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:46 PM ET, 01/29/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  twinkie

Posted at 04:57 PM ET, 01/28/2013

Dear Barnes & Noble

It's time we staged an intervention.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:57 PM ET, 01/28/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  barnes & noble

Posted at 12:56 PM ET, 01/28/2013

Berlusconi's Mussolini remarks, and other things that should go without saying

Some things should go without saying.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:56 PM ET, 01/28/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  mussolini

Posted at 11:36 AM ET, 01/28/2013

Iran's space monkey business

I am in favor of monkeyed spaceflight.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:36 AM ET, 01/28/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  space monkey

Posted at 04:38 PM ET, 01/25/2013

'Poetry is not dead,' says poetry

Please stop sonneting my house.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:38 PM ET, 01/25/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 12:19 PM ET, 01/25/2013

That mistaken New Mexico abortion bill, revised

It's better than it was, but the basic attitude at the heart of it is profoundly insulting.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:19 PM ET, 01/25/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  abortion

Posted at 07:04 PM ET, 01/24/2013

J.J. Abrams, director of 'Star Trek,' to direct 'Star Wars'?

We should be excited.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:04 PM ET, 01/24/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  J.J. Abrams, Star Trek, Star Wars

Posted at 02:28 PM ET, 01/24/2013

Chris Christie and Mark Zuckerberg's fundraiser perks

Here are just a few!

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:28 PM ET, 01/24/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Chris Christie

Posted at 10:00 AM ET, 01/24/2013

When is a question not a question? Hillary testifies on Benghazi

When it's an answer.

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:00 AM ET, 01/24/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 08:00 AM ET, 01/24/2013

In D.C., no more civics?

These students live close enough to the sausage factory. Why rub their noses in it?

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 AM ET, 01/24/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Civics

Posted at 11:49 AM ET, 01/23/2013

Jill Kelley's e-mails and the P-word

The most ridiculous thing about the whole affair.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:49 AM ET, 01/23/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  privacy

Posted at 03:08 PM ET, 01/22/2013

Beyonce lip-syncs the national anthem? Maybe she was right.

Maybe she had a point.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:08 PM ET, 01/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  beyonce, inauguration

Posted at 12:06 PM ET, 01/22/2013

Is poetry dead?

After Richard Blanco's reading, I have to ask.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:06 PM ET, 01/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  poetry

Posted at 04:50 PM ET, 01/21/2013

Inauguration invocations, poems and other traditions to reconsider

There are some events that we, as a nation, decide are of sufficient importance that we have to go outside and stand there in variable weather while people sing the national anthem at us. Graduations. Certain sporting events. But the inauguration lays it on thicker than most.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:50 PM ET, 01/21/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  inauguration

Posted at 03:22 PM ET, 01/21/2013

President Obama's terrifying reveal of an inauguration speech

This is exactly what everyone said would happen. Why did we not believe?

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:22 PM ET, 01/21/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  inauguration

Posted at 08:20 PM ET, 01/18/2013

How to tell if your girlfriend is real

A handy guide.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:20 PM ET, 01/18/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Manti, Manti Te'o

Posted at 12:57 PM ET, 01/18/2013

Ten upsides to the Lance Armstrong story

Cheer up, everyone!

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:57 PM ET, 01/18/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  lance armstrong

Posted at 06:48 PM ET, 01/17/2013

How to Communicate With Women, for the GOP retreat

It took years of study to find all this out!

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:48 PM ET, 01/17/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  GOP

Posted at 05:35 PM ET, 01/17/2013

Thank you for the good advice, Dear Abby

Seldom do people thank you for advice. But this is one of those times.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:35 PM ET, 01/17/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  dear abby

Posted at 03:00 PM ET, 01/17/2013

Apple needs a new writer for Siri

Apple is hiring, and here's why I'm qualified for the job.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:00 PM ET, 01/17/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Apple

Posted at 06:21 PM ET, 01/16/2013

Coping with the Manti Te'o Notre Dame hoax story

Is everything a lie?

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:21 PM ET, 01/16/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  notre dame

Posted at 04:50 PM ET, 01/16/2013

Comeback kids? Mark Sanford vs. Tiffany Six

There are only a few professions where this is possible.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:50 PM ET, 01/16/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  comebacks

Posted at 11:53 AM ET, 01/16/2013

What the bizarre NRA ad calling Obama an 'elitist hypocrite' is not about

This campaign is good at provoking conversation, though.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:53 AM ET, 01/16/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  NRA

Posted at 06:18 PM ET, 01/15/2013

Facebook said, 'Let there be Graph Search,' and there was

As Facebook developments go, this is not bad.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:18 PM ET, 01/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Facebook

Posted at 03:44 PM ET, 01/15/2013

Lance Armstrong, Oprah, and 'unexpected' half-confessions

How long does it take to confess?

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:44 PM ET, 01/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  lance armstrong

Posted at 07:15 PM ET, 01/14/2013

If a Justice Thomas joke falls in a forest during oral arguments, does it make a sound?

But no one hears what he said.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:15 PM ET, 01/14/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  supreme court

Posted at 05:57 PM ET, 01/14/2013

Jodie Foster's bizarre elegy for privacy

It's overrated.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:57 PM ET, 01/14/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  privacy

Posted at 11:02 AM ET, 01/14/2013

Coping with the White House rejection of the Death Star petition

We looked for support in Alderaan places.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:02 AM ET, 01/14/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  death star, petitions

Posted at 06:29 PM ET, 01/11/2013

New Kate Middleton picture is terrifying

Good effort, I guess?

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:29 PM ET, 01/11/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 06:18 PM ET, 01/11/2013

After Louie Giglio, maybe we should rethink the inaugural benediction

I wish tolerance only had to extend to people I think are correct.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:18 PM ET, 01/11/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 02:57 PM ET, 01/11/2013

The ballad of the farting federal employee

This is the saddest story you will ever read.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:57 PM ET, 01/11/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  flatulence

Posted at 12:19 PM ET, 01/11/2013

Other very plausible and serious solutions to the debt ceiling crisis

These are worse than the platinum coin, but only a little.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:19 PM ET, 01/11/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  debt ceiling, platinum coin

Posted at 07:50 PM ET, 01/10/2013

Piers Morgan's self-serving gun control crusade

Stop it, please.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:50 PM ET, 01/10/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  piers morgan

Posted at 07:20 PM ET, 01/10/2013

No more new planets, please

I am running out of mnemonic devices.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:20 PM ET, 01/10/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  astronomy, planets

Posted at 04:39 PM ET, 01/10/2013

The handwriting on the wall -- in praise of Jack Lew's signature

OOOOOOOO says hello.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:39 PM ET, 01/10/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  jack lew, treasury

Posted at 12:46 PM ET, 01/10/2013

Our 2013 Oscar nominees, explained

What to say about this year's crop?

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:46 PM ET, 01/10/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  oscars

Posted at 04:39 PM ET, 01/09/2013

Reasons to be pretty -- Brent Musburger's weak offense and ESPN's unnecessary apology to Katherine Webb

ESPN's unnecessary apology to Katherine Webb.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:39 PM ET, 01/09/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  football

Posted at 01:43 PM ET, 01/09/2013

Which Monopoly token should go?

An evaluation of the contestants.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:43 PM ET, 01/09/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  monopoly

Posted at 12:10 PM ET, 01/09/2013

One nation, under the Platinum Trillion-Dollar Coin

Do not lose sight of how funny this is.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:10 PM ET, 01/09/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  COIN

Posted at 10:57 AM ET, 01/08/2013

Alex Jones' uncontrolled explosion on Piers Morgan

Sometimes the best argument against a conspiracy theory is to listen to it.

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:57 AM ET, 01/08/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  conspiracy, onspiracy

Posted at 04:11 PM ET, 01/04/2013

In defense of 'Les Miserables'

The least ironic musical imaginable.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:11 PM ET, 01/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  les miserables, musicals

Posted at 12:30 PM ET, 01/04/2013

Fun times at Avis, after the Zipcar purchase

The Avis way has its merits.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:30 PM ET, 01/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  zipcar

Posted at 05:42 PM ET, 01/03/2013

6-year-old boy suspended for pointing finger like a gun got off easy

This is the sort of thing up with which we cannot put.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:42 PM ET, 01/03/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 12:16 PM ET, 01/03/2013

Current TV goes from one Al to another

From one Al to another.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:16 PM ET, 01/03/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Current TV

Posted at 05:48 PM ET, 01/02/2013

Chris Christie releases hulking rancor on Congress, Boehner

You may like him when he's angry.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:48 PM ET, 01/02/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Chris Christie

Posted at 01:41 PM ET, 01/02/2013

John Boehner, Harry Reid and insults from the edge of the 'cliff'

There is nothing like being forced to repeat a withering insult that you have just leveled at someone after he responds, "What are you talking about?"

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:41 PM ET, 01/02/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Congress, fiscal cliff, Harry Reid, insults, John Boehner

Posted at 11:47 AM ET, 01/02/2013

After the 'fiscal cliff,' further dangerous metaphors

Don't forget the Consumer Confidence Squirrel.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:47 AM ET, 01/02/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  fiscal cliff

 

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