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ComPost: March, 2013

Posted at 05:37 PM ET, 03/29/2013

Kim Jong Un and his Very Threatening Three Phones aim for the US

It's scary, but not in the way they intended.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:37 PM ET, 03/29/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  austin, north korea

Posted at 06:23 PM ET, 03/28/2013

Goodreads? Amazon? Nooooo!

Say some, with variable numbers of O's.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:23 PM ET, 03/28/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  amazon, goodreads

Posted at 04:03 PM ET, 03/28/2013

Is there a war on Easter? Maybe there should be.

Isn't Easter already at war with itself?

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:03 PM ET, 03/28/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  easter

Posted at 01:11 PM ET, 03/28/2013

In North Dakota, the Most Freedom! Unless you're a woman.

The most free!

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:11 PM ET, 03/28/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  abortion, north dakota

Posted at 06:54 PM ET, 03/27/2013

On hygiene, have a cow

Non-metaphorically!

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:54 PM ET, 03/27/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  hygiene

Posted at 02:31 PM ET, 03/27/2013

Justice Ginsburg and skim-milk marriage

This is a good analogy: Skim milk is almost the real thing, but you can tell the difference.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:31 PM ET, 03/27/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  gay marriage

Posted at 04:26 PM ET, 03/26/2013

Supreme Court's awkward discussion of middle-age sex

Or, the part where we spent a good few minutes arguing about how fertile everyone was.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:26 PM ET, 03/26/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  gay marriage, supreme court

Posted at 11:15 AM ET, 03/26/2013

Support the bacon petition!

The Internet commands it.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:15 AM ET, 03/26/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bacon

Posted at 08:58 AM ET, 03/26/2013

The FAA moves toward ending asinine electronics bans -- although we might regret it

I know where you can stow this regulation.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:58 AM ET, 03/26/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  airplanes, books, ereaders, faa

Posted at 07:13 AM ET, 03/26/2013

Things to watch for as Supreme Court tackles gay marriage

Stand on the right side of history. It'll look better in the pictures!

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:13 AM ET, 03/26/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  gay marriage, supreme court

Posted at 04:05 PM ET, 03/25/2013

Bill Gates tackles the 'next generation' condom

Some foreseeable problems.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:05 PM ET, 03/25/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bill gates, condoms

Posted at 06:41 PM ET, 03/22/2013

Punish Punxsutawney?

Groundhog fail.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:41 PM ET, 03/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  groundhog

Posted at 09:45 AM ET, 03/22/2013

Save the Whoms!

Grammar is our only hope.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:45 AM ET, 03/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  whom

Posted at 07:19 AM ET, 03/22/2013

Bachmann's 'literally' kills

Just keep "literally" out of it.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:19 AM ET, 03/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bachmann

Posted at 06:19 PM ET, 03/21/2013

How old IS the universe?

It's older than we thought.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:19 PM ET, 03/21/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  universe

Posted at 02:53 PM ET, 03/21/2013

Happy Birthday, Twitter!

It's seven. And not going anywhere.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:53 PM ET, 03/21/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Twitter

Posted at 08:32 AM ET, 03/20/2013

Behind those Lululemon pants

What a mortifying revelation!

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:32 AM ET, 03/20/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 05:00 PM ET, 03/18/2013

Other signs that 'The Bible' was confusing Satan and President Obama

Some other things that they should have thought about.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:00 PM ET, 03/18/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  satan

Posted at 01:50 PM ET, 03/18/2013

Stop talking to yourself! RNC's Growth & Opportunity Project vs. CPAC

Stop talking to yourself.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:50 PM ET, 03/18/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  rnc

Posted at 07:59 PM ET, 03/15/2013

Congratulations, Rob Portman, on being human!

Being human takes more effort than you'd like, sometimes.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:59 PM ET, 03/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  gay marriage, rob portman

Posted at 06:12 PM ET, 03/15/2013

How Not To Sound Racist: The most awkward CPAC panel ever

The most awkward CPAC panel of all time.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:12 PM ET, 03/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  cpac

Posted at 12:30 PM ET, 03/15/2013

Bright lights, big city, big cups -- a holdup for the soda ban

Clinging to our guts.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:30 PM ET, 03/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  soda

Posted at 03:21 PM ET, 03/14/2013

At CPAC, Rand Paul is wrong about the robot squirrel

Save the RoboSquirrel!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:21 PM ET, 03/14/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  rand paul

Posted at 04:21 PM ET, 03/13/2013

Episode IV: A New Pope

We can stop making pope jokes on Twitter now!

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:21 PM ET, 03/13/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  pope

Posted at 07:28 AM ET, 03/13/2013

Let the men handle it -- Oz the Grating and Terrible

The new film is like a crash course in casual sexism.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:28 AM ET, 03/13/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  oz

Posted at 03:08 PM ET, 03/12/2013

D.C. has its very own sinkhole!

Everyone panic!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:08 PM ET, 03/12/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  sinkhole

Posted at 02:33 PM ET, 03/12/2013

The Holy Grail of Facebook studies

The totally non-creepy guide

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:33 PM ET, 03/12/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Facebook

Posted at 07:24 AM ET, 03/12/2013

Sarah Palin's War on Christmas book

It's always darkest just before you release the War on Christmas book.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:24 AM ET, 03/12/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  palin

Posted at 12:29 PM ET, 03/11/2013

Imperfectionism -- why the cult of Jennifer Lawrence matters

Imperfection is the new perfection.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:29 PM ET, 03/11/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 09:28 AM ET, 03/11/2013

Guess the Real CPAC 2013 event!

This is all real, more or less.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:28 AM ET, 03/11/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  CPAC 2013

Posted at 10:47 AM ET, 03/08/2013

TSA permits small knives, bats and golf clubs but holds firm on shampoo

But it's still ridiculous.

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:47 AM ET, 03/08/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  TSA

Posted at 07:08 AM ET, 03/08/2013

Happy International Women's Day! A schedule of events

Don't forget to celebrate!

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:08 AM ET, 03/08/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 03:47 PM ET, 03/07/2013

Why you should actually care about Facebook's news feed changes

Goodbye, words!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:47 PM ET, 03/07/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 09:00 AM ET, 03/07/2013

D.C. vs. the Snowquester

Why do we always do this?

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:00 AM ET, 03/07/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 03:42 PM ET, 03/06/2013

Keep talking, Rand Paul! The Kentucky senator's blizzard filibuster

"Keep talking!" as few people will tell you, ever.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:42 PM ET, 03/06/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  filibuster

Posted at 11:10 AM ET, 03/06/2013

The idiom graveyard -- from hotcakes to high horses, 13 expressions we really should retire

These expressions have seen better days.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:10 AM ET, 03/06/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  idioms

Posted at 05:37 PM ET, 03/05/2013

Surviving Snowquester

Some survival tips.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:37 PM ET, 03/05/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  snowquester

Posted at 01:23 PM ET, 03/05/2013

Why Yahoo won't let you work from home

There is always that one incident that changes everything.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:23 PM ET, 03/05/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  yahoo

Posted at 08:00 AM ET, 03/05/2013

Pop-Tart 'gun' suspension: Seriously, folks?

I pity The Onion.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 AM ET, 03/05/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 03:54 PM ET, 03/04/2013

Batman turns in wanted fugitive in England

All is right with the world.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:54 PM ET, 03/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  batman

Posted at 02:12 PM ET, 03/04/2013

Things more terrifying than Ashley Judd's nudity

With rumors of a Senate campaign in Kentucky, Ashley Judd's uphill battle.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:12 PM ET, 03/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ashley judd

Posted at 10:37 AM ET, 03/04/2013

Do not campaign for pope? A cardinal apologizes.

Cardinal [Redacted] would like to apologize.

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:37 AM ET, 03/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  pope

Posted at 04:08 PM ET, 03/01/2013

Jedi Mind Meld, President Obama? Why it matters

This nerd ideal is getting worse all the time!

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:08 PM ET, 03/01/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Barack Obama, jedi mind meld, vulcan

Posted at 01:34 PM ET, 03/01/2013

The tyranny of Groupon

With CEO's departure, perhaps we can slither out from underneath this.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:34 PM ET, 03/01/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  groupon

 

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