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ComPost: November, 2013

Posted at 01:19 PM ET, 11/29/2013

What your favorite punctuation mark says about you

It’s not a parenthetical statement.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:19 PM ET, 11/29/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  grammar

Posted at 11:00 AM ET, 11/29/2013

This will restore, then shatter, your faith in humankind

For a while there, I was worried. I thought irony wasn’t going to make it. It lay there, pale and wheezing in its flannel, a last PBR clutched in one convulsive hand.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:00 AM ET, 11/29/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 07:51 AM ET, 11/29/2013

10 Black Friday deals definitely worth mowing down a stranger for

“It’s all worth it,” you’ll bellow.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:51 AM ET, 11/29/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 09:30 AM ET, 11/27/2013

This Covergirl makeup makes a statement! Unfortunately that statement is ‘I enjoy watching children fight to the death’

Yes, it’s that bad.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:30 AM ET, 11/27/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  hunger games, this is why we can't have nice things

Posted at 08:34 AM ET, 11/27/2013

How To Write an Op-Ed Column Without Really Trying

Just mail me the Pulitzer when it comes your way.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:34 AM ET, 11/27/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 01:46 PM ET, 11/26/2013

RIP Brian Griffin on ‘Family Guy’ -- the dog always dies

All dogs go to heaven?

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:46 PM ET, 11/26/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  dogs

Posted at 12:48 PM ET, 11/26/2013

The Gobbler Games -- Caramel and Popcorn vie for presidential turkey pardons

The odds are never in your favor.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:48 PM ET, 11/26/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  hunger games, turkey

Posted at 05:17 PM ET, 11/25/2013

14 Thanksgiving dinners more awkward than yours

They put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:17 PM ET, 11/25/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  thanksgiving, thor

Posted at 12:03 PM ET, 11/22/2013

Obamacare, er Affordable Care Act, er That Thing That Must Not Be Named rebranding continues

It might work!

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:03 PM ET, 11/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  affordable care act, obamacare, or something

Posted at 11:40 AM ET, 11/22/2013

Nuclear fallout in the Senate

Everything is mutating and horrible.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:40 AM ET, 11/22/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  filibuster, nuclear, reid, senate

Posted at 07:03 PM ET, 11/21/2013

Commemoration fatigue

Please, make it stop.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:03 PM ET, 11/21/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  fatigue, JFK

Posted at 08:00 AM ET, 11/20/2013

The Most Offensive Article on the Internet and Why You Need To Stop Sharing It And Trying To Get It Taken Down

Traffic is oxygen.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 AM ET, 11/20/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Internet, ughhhhhhhh

Posted at 07:00 AM ET, 11/20/2013

Awkward Thanksgiving at the Cheney household

Talking turkey.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:00 AM ET, 11/20/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Dick Cheney, gay marriage, Liz Cheney, thanksgiving

Posted at 03:38 PM ET, 11/19/2013

It’s A Wonderful -- Sequel?

How the studios stole Christmas.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:38 PM ET, 11/19/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 01:54 PM ET, 11/19/2013

A brief history of the selfie, the Oxford Dictionaries’ word of the year

It’s a word as old as time though.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:54 PM ET, 11/19/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  selfie

Posted at 11:16 AM ET, 11/19/2013

Through the International Men’s Day looking-glass

I recommend this experience to anyone!

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:16 AM ET, 11/19/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, men

Posted at 04:21 PM ET, 11/18/2013

What Really Happened To JFK? Guess the real theory.

It’s harder than it looks.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:21 PM ET, 11/18/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  conspiracy

Posted at 06:18 PM ET, 11/15/2013

Always be Batkid

He’s the hero we need right now.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:18 PM ET, 11/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  batkid, batkin, batman

Posted at 09:35 AM ET, 11/15/2013

Fighting the War on Christmas

It’s time we all became Thanksgiving vigilantes.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:35 AM ET, 11/15/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bah, christmas, humbug, thanksgiving

Posted at 06:15 PM ET, 11/14/2013

President Obama’s fumbling apology press conference, translated

The problem is the hardware, software, and technology, says president

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:15 PM ET, 11/14/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  obama, obamacare

Posted at 09:40 PM ET, 11/13/2013

10 other numbers to put the Obamacare October sign-ups into perspective

Here are a few more statistics.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:40 PM ET, 11/13/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  numbers, obamacare

Posted at 07:03 PM ET, 11/13/2013

I’m sorry for missing your warning signs, LivingSocial

I’m sorry, buddy. Hang in there!

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:03 PM ET, 11/13/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  livingsocial

Posted at 02:29 PM ET, 11/12/2013

How not to apologize, with Chip Wilson of Lululemon

This doesn’t count!

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:29 PM ET, 11/12/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  apology, lululemon

Posted at 03:03 PM ET, 11/08/2013

BECOME A WHIG RIGHT NOW! And 6 other vintage parties we should bring back

The Whigs are the third party we deserve, but maybe not the one we need right now!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:03 PM ET, 11/08/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  whigs

Posted at 04:44 PM ET, 11/07/2013

10 famous mean book reviews, edited for Buzzfeed Books’ new positive-only policy

Cut it out, Mark!

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:44 PM ET, 11/07/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  books, new media

Posted at 03:57 PM ET, 11/07/2013

How I learned to stop hating Twitter, in time for its IPO

But I’ve forgotten how to breathe outside it.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:57 PM ET, 11/07/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 10:36 AM ET, 11/07/2013

Rand Paul, now with footnotes, takes his column to Breitbart.com

I think we’re moving in the right direction!

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:36 AM ET, 11/07/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 06:15 PM ET, 11/06/2013

How To Discipline Your Child Correctly

Er, good luck.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:15 PM ET, 11/06/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  children, yelling

Posted at 02:17 PM ET, 11/06/2013

Okay, NOW Blockbuster is out of business

After all these years together, it’s still hard to say goodbye. Okay, not really.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:17 PM ET, 11/06/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  blockbuster

Posted at 11:50 AM ET, 11/05/2013

‘Jeeves and the Wedding Bells’ is worse than bad fanfiction

I must issue a firm ‘nolle prosequi.’

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:50 AM ET, 11/05/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 01:27 PM ET, 11/04/2013

24 e-mails the NSA can already see in your inbox

You’re welcome, sir or madam.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:27 PM ET, 11/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  email, gmail, NSA

Posted at 12:25 PM ET, 11/04/2013

Movember, Nanowrimo, marathons -- November, please, calm down

Mustaches, novels, marathons -- this needs to stop.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:25 PM ET, 11/04/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  movember, nanowrimo

Posted at 06:09 PM ET, 11/01/2013

So, Ender’s Game is out. Should you go?

It’s up to you.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:09 PM ET, 11/01/2013 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  boycott, ender's game

 

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