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ComPost: January, 2014

Posted at 08:30 PM ET, 01/31/2014

No beer delivery drones, FAA? This is why we can’t have nice things!

Aw.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:30 PM ET, 01/31/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 07:11 PM ET, 01/31/2014

What Chris Christie now wishes he’d said about David Wildstein

Never insinuate someone wasn’t cool in high school.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:11 PM ET, 01/31/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  burning bridges, christie

Posted at 08:01 AM ET, 01/31/2014

Amy Chua continues to be and know better than you

And she has a new book out!

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:01 AM ET, 01/31/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  how to be

Posted at 06:02 PM ET, 01/30/2014

Mitt Romney, 2016 front-runner

We’ve been through this before.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:02 PM ET, 01/30/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  2016, mitt, Mitt Romney

Posted at 04:23 PM ET, 01/30/2014

Employee sells heroin out of McDonalds in Happy Meals

Oops.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:23 PM ET, 01/30/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  mcdonalds, war on drugs

Posted at 03:42 PM ET, 01/29/2014

How we can deport Justin Bieber -- listen up, White House!

Listen up White House: We can do it!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:42 PM ET, 01/29/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bieber, white house

Posted at 02:31 PM ET, 01/29/2014

How to apologize after you threaten to throw a reporter off a balcony

Repeatedly, and at length.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:31 PM ET, 01/29/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  apologies', Michael Grimm, oops, State of the Union

Posted at 01:32 AM ET, 01/29/2014

State of the Union in three GIFs and one quote

And the response, in one quote.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:32 AM ET, 01/29/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  SOTU, State of the Union

Posted at 01:43 PM ET, 01/28/2014

State of the Union bingo for 2014

Play along at home!

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:43 PM ET, 01/28/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  SOTU, State of the Union

Posted at 09:40 AM ET, 01/28/2014

Pope’s Metaphor is Viciously Attacked By Seabird

If this were Ancient Greece, augurs would be going nuts right now.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:40 AM ET, 01/28/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  augury, birds, pope, pope francis

Posted at 04:46 PM ET, 01/27/2014

Is it a problem that Hillary Clinton has not driven since 1996?

Here’s the trouble with humanizing anecdotes. They tend to backfire.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:46 PM ET, 01/27/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  2016, cars, Hillary Clinton

Posted at 03:03 PM ET, 01/27/2014

The states of the union in stereotypes, via Google autocomplete

Thanks, Google!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:03 PM ET, 01/27/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Google, stereotypes

Posted at 08:11 AM ET, 01/27/2014

Six top moments from a ‘ground-breaking’ ‘historical’ 2014 Grammys where nothing happened

And a few other things happen as well.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:11 AM ET, 01/27/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  grammys

Posted at 05:38 PM ET, 01/24/2014

Sheryl Sandberg’s ‘Lean In’ is going to be a movie. A sneak preview of the script!

Here are some plot suggestions.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:38 PM ET, 01/24/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, lean in

Posted at 12:26 PM ET, 01/24/2014

Why thank-you notes are bad and dangerous

If you’re polite, they might indict.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:26 PM ET, 01/24/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  no thanks, politeness, thanks

Posted at 04:15 PM ET, 01/23/2014

Mike Huckabee and women’s uncontrolled libido, or, Uncle Sugar

The GOP will have a much easier time talking to women once they realize that women can hear them.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:15 PM ET, 01/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, ugh, war on women, wow

Posted at 03:03 PM ET, 01/23/2014

Justin Bieber arrested for DUI, drag racing: A verse ode

And the crowd goes wild.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:03 PM ET, 01/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bieber

Posted at 09:30 AM ET, 01/23/2014

Davos Theme or String of Nonsense Buzzwords?

Which ones are nonsense buzzwords? Which ones are Davos themes? Which ones are both?

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:30 AM ET, 01/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  davos

Posted at 09:00 AM ET, 01/23/2014

What’s in a name? Louis Vuitton, Rolex, McDonnell

That’s more than $50 for a t-shirt.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:00 AM ET, 01/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  brands

Posted at 08:37 AM ET, 01/23/2014

How not to talk about Wendy Davis

New stories and old patterns.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:37 AM ET, 01/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, texas, women

Posted at 01:30 PM ET, 01/21/2014

Happy National Hug Day, I guess

Let’s shake on it.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:30 PM ET, 01/21/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  hugs, ughs

Posted at 11:09 AM ET, 01/21/2014

In defense of hipsters

I was into hipster-defending before it was cool.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:09 AM ET, 01/21/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  hipsters

Posted at 02:09 PM ET, 01/17/2014

Nobody knows history, says FOX host, then proves it

See: Muphry’s Law.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:09 PM ET, 01/17/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 01:31 PM ET, 01/17/2014

President Obama’s NSA speech: What’s that about Paul Revere and Civil War balloons?

I’m not exactly sure what these examples prove.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:31 PM ET, 01/17/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  NSA

Posted at 03:59 PM ET, 01/16/2014

Keep the Time magazine Clinton cover. Change the story.

Or better yet, keep the cover and change the story.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:59 PM ET, 01/16/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  design, graphics, Hillary, lilliput

Posted at 10:16 AM ET, 01/16/2014

‘American Hustle,’ ‘her,’ ’12 Years A Slave’: What the 2014 Oscar nominees say about us

Is it even possible to Google ‘her’?

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:16 AM ET, 01/16/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  movies, oscars

Posted at 06:53 PM ET, 01/15/2014

Nope, Richard Black, just because ‘she’s in a nightie’ does not give you consent

This has been your weekly reminder.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:53 PM ET, 01/15/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  consent, richard black

Posted at 08:19 AM ET, 01/15/2014

With one terrifying ‘Daily Show’ segment, Fox’s ‘The Five’ enters the realm of high art

It’s . . . something.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:19 AM ET, 01/15/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Daily Show, Fox News

Posted at 05:08 PM ET, 01/14/2014

“Mistakes were clearly made.” In New Jersey, the Passive Voice apologizes

Taking the fall, once again.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:08 PM ET, 01/14/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bridgegate, grammar, passive

Posted at 03:03 PM ET, 01/14/2014

After Christie’s Bridgegate, some tips for avoiding scandal

Handy steps to save your bacon!

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:03 PM ET, 01/14/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bridgegate, christie, scandal

Posted at 04:50 PM ET, 01/13/2014

Enter the Concern Troll

The Times piece on Lisa Adams and those Dreadful Things that Other People say.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:50 PM ET, 01/13/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 09:15 AM ET, 01/13/2014

Spanish version of Healthcare.gov apparently used computer translation?

That’s a problem.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:15 AM ET, 01/13/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  healthcare.gov

Posted at 08:15 AM ET, 01/13/2014

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler explain the problem with ’12 Years A Slave’ think-pieces in a single Golden Globes monologue joke

Well done, Best Friends of the Internet.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:15 AM ET, 01/13/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  golden globes

Posted at 08:18 PM ET, 01/10/2014

Goodbye, Shia LaBeouf! A note on art and theft in the age of Tumblr

Good riddance.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:18 PM ET, 01/10/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  enough labeouf

Posted at 01:58 PM ET, 01/10/2014

Gmail’s new ‘feature’: e-mails from strangers!

Don’t be creepy.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:58 PM ET, 01/10/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  don't be evil, gmail, gmail feature, Google

Posted at 08:00 AM ET, 01/10/2014

Come sit on Satan’s lap with proposed Oklahoma statue

Although some Satanists disapprove.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 AM ET, 01/10/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  church and state, satan, statues

Posted at 02:45 PM ET, 01/09/2014

Three top moments from Chris Christie’s morphing traffic study news conference

The governor has a lot of feelings.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:45 PM ET, 01/09/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bridgegate, christie, traffic

Posted at 08:47 AM ET, 01/09/2014

Chris Christie and the best traffic safety study ever

Well, I guess we learned something.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:47 AM ET, 01/09/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  2016, bridges, christie, pranks, Science, studies

Posted at 06:43 PM ET, 01/08/2014

Five questions about the Polar Vortex, answered

It’s here. It’s cold. Get used to it.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:43 PM ET, 01/08/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  polar vortex, weather

Posted at 06:22 PM ET, 01/08/2014

How do you solve a problem like Dennis Rodman’s visits to North Korea?

Why does this keep happening?

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:22 PM ET, 01/08/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  dennis rodman

Posted at 04:32 PM ET, 01/08/2014

Not the Velveeta! Cheesy shortage looms in Northeast

Time for a LIQUID GOLD rush!

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:32 PM ET, 01/08/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  liquid gold, liquid goooooooold, velveeta

Posted at 05:24 PM ET, 01/06/2014

Old Spice’s alarming ‘Momsong’ commercial

This doubles as a crippling weapon against Peter Pan.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:24 PM ET, 01/06/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  commercials, old spice, terror

Posted at 01:23 PM ET, 01/03/2014

Colorado’s shame and sorrow -- bring back the old law

We need to revert to the old laws.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:23 PM ET, 01/03/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  demon weed

Posted at 06:00 AM ET, 01/03/2014

How to ruin any conversation with just one question

There is basically no good outcome.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:00 AM ET, 01/03/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  conversation, conversation enders, conversation starters, peeves

Posted at 05:23 PM ET, 01/02/2014

Oh good, Duck Dynasty has a line of guns now

Happy new year!

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:23 PM ET, 01/02/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  culture wars, duck dynasty

Posted at 11:04 AM ET, 01/02/2014

New Year’s resolutions for 2014 that are still viable

These, I can keep!

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:04 AM ET, 01/02/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  2014, new year

 

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