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ComPost: April, 2014

Posted at 01:13 PM ET, 04/30/2014

Clippers owner Sterling banned from NBA for life — four lessons

If only it were always this simple.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:13 PM ET, 04/30/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 12:37 PM ET, 04/30/2014

‘Mean Girls’ turns 10 today. I was in the book.

It’s not as mortifying as it sounds.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:37 PM ET, 04/30/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  awkward, ladies

Posted at 05:45 PM ET, 04/29/2014

Dear Star Wars — some suggestions, after the new cast announcement

Just to clear it up.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:45 PM ET, 04/29/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, questions, Star Wars

Posted at 01:57 PM ET, 04/28/2014

Internet Explorer has a fatal flaw! What your browser says about you

You’re kidding.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:57 PM ET, 04/28/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Internet

Posted at 01:14 PM ET, 04/28/2014

The best-laid plans of lab mice and men: Are male researchers ruining mouse science?

Steinbeck, eat your heart out.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:14 PM ET, 04/28/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, mice, Science

Posted at 11:52 AM ET, 04/28/2014

Nap time has been cancelled. A follow-up letter to career-ready kindergarteners

First they came for the kindergarten show . . .

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:52 AM ET, 04/28/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 04:59 PM ET, 04/24/2014

Everything you need to know about Capital -- the hot summer beach read

Some tips for surviving the inevitable conversations.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:59 PM ET, 04/24/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  books, capital

Posted at 11:59 AM ET, 04/24/2014

Cliven Bundy’s awful views should not be news

But they are.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:59 AM ET, 04/24/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Cliven Bundy, Fox News, Sean Hannity

Posted at 08:00 AM ET, 04/24/2014

The Supreme Court justices ask some hard-hitting phonograph questions

It could have been worse.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 AM ET, 04/24/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  aereo, phonograph, supreme court, the supremes

Posted at 05:00 PM ET, 04/23/2014

Happy 450th birthday to Shakespeare, the indispensable

He’s still relevant.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:00 PM ET, 04/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  birthday, shakespeare

Posted at 12:14 PM ET, 04/23/2014

Who is your Shakespearean drinking buddy?

Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:14 PM ET, 04/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  quizzes, shakespeare

Posted at 12:11 PM ET, 04/23/2014

Which Shakespeare heroine are you?

The quiz is the thing!

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:11 PM ET, 04/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  quizzes, shakespeare

Posted at 12:04 PM ET, 04/23/2014

Which Shakespeare hero are you? Take the quiz and find out.

Take this quiz and find out!

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:04 PM ET, 04/23/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  quizzes, shakespeare

Posted at 01:47 PM ET, 04/22/2014

On Earth Day, some pros and cons of our favorite planet

For Earth Day, a critical evaluation.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:47 PM ET, 04/22/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  earth

Posted at 08:00 PM ET, 04/21/2014

No one knows where anything is on a map, and it’s a problem

From Ukraine to the Sun.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:00 PM ET, 04/21/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  geography, oy

Posted at 07:04 PM ET, 04/21/2014

WWJD: On Charlotte Bronte’s birthday, Jane Eyre answers your questions

Happy Birthday, Charlotte Bronte!

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:04 PM ET, 04/21/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  birthdays, ladies, literature

Posted at 02:48 PM ET, 04/21/2014

Senator avoids getting hit by oncoming train during press conference on train safety

“Safety, as you know, is paramount.“

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:48 PM ET, 04/21/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  irony, safety, trains

Posted at 01:20 PM ET, 04/18/2014

How will the Chelsea Clinton baby impact

Now you know!

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:20 PM ET, 04/18/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  baby, chelsea clinton, clinton

Posted at 01:02 PM ET, 04/18/2014

Chelsea Clinton is pregnant, and everything is terrible

Make it stop.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:02 PM ET, 04/18/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  clinton

Posted at 12:23 PM ET, 04/17/2014

Get that beach body! The guide they don’t want you to see

You’re welcome, ladies!

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:23 PM ET, 04/17/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  beach body, ladies

Posted at 11:43 AM ET, 04/17/2014

KFC’s Double Down is back. Are we approaching the bacon backlash?

The signs are everywhere.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:43 AM ET, 04/17/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  bacon

Posted at 07:00 PM ET, 04/16/2014

The Titanic Sank. And CNN is ON IT!

Thank heavens they told us!

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:00 PM ET, 04/16/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  news, titanic

Posted at 06:06 PM ET, 04/16/2014

Bet you can’t pass THIS new SAT

This is how the test always felt for me.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:06 PM ET, 04/16/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  SAT, testing, vocabulary

Posted at 06:42 PM ET, 04/15/2014

Phyllis Schlafly’s funny logic on the wage gap — and the husband gap

Mo’ money, fewer husbands.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:42 PM ET, 04/15/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ladies, oy

Posted at 06:14 PM ET, 04/15/2014

400 Headlines That Will Make You Feel Old

Here is a video that will help.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:14 PM ET, 04/15/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  aging

Posted at 02:47 PM ET, 04/15/2014

I guess you COULD get Google Glass

But only if you’re ready to face reality.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:47 PM ET, 04/15/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  glass, Google, google glass

Posted at 03:00 PM ET, 04/14/2014

Boehner’s opponent takes crude shots in ‘electile dysfunction’-themed ad

J.D. Winteregg takes crude aim at his opponent.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:00 PM ET, 04/14/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ads, innuendo

Posted at 01:16 PM ET, 04/14/2014

Teenager who tweeted threats to American Airlines is now in custody

Being a teenager is more hazardous than it used to be.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:16 PM ET, 04/14/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  teenagers, Twitter

Posted at 11:13 AM ET, 04/14/2014

In defense of spoilers, from ‘Game of Thrones’ to ‘House of Cards’

Shows are being spoiled, and that’s a good thing.

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:13 AM ET, 04/14/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  spoilers

Posted at 09:38 AM ET, 04/11/2014

What shoe to throw at this politician? A guide, after Hillary Clinton’s footwear incident

For maximum disrespect.

By Alexandra Petri  |  09:38 AM ET, 04/11/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  america, shoes

Posted at 06:43 PM ET, 04/10/2014

Never mind Khaleesi -- the most recent crop of baby names is good news!

A Rose by any other name would still grow up fine, probably.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:43 PM ET, 04/10/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)

Posted at 04:54 PM ET, 04/10/2014

Stephen Colbert’s move to late night — and the death of ‘Stephen Colbert’ — is a sad day for satire

He’s going to be seriously missed.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:54 PM ET, 04/10/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  colbert, RIP, satire

Posted at 06:49 PM ET, 04/09/2014

Heartbleed! Quick, change your password, using these tips

Good luck.

By Alexandra Petri  |  06:49 PM ET, 04/09/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  oy, passwords

Posted at 02:29 PM ET, 04/09/2014

There is nothing wrong with the Franklin Regional student’s recovery selfie

The kid is all right.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:29 PM ET, 04/09/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  civilization, selfie

Posted at 04:09 PM ET, 04/08/2014

‘Don’t risk dudeness’? Veet’s new ad hair-removal is a throwback dud

This is a terrible ad.

By Alexandra Petri  |  04:09 PM ET, 04/08/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ads, beauty, oops, Veet

Posted at 02:47 PM ET, 04/08/2014

The most awkward thing of all is March Awkward Madness results

The winner of March Awkward Madness is declared.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:47 PM ET, 04/08/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  awkward, winner

Posted at 10:48 AM ET, 04/08/2014

Twitter is changing to look like Facebook and it needs to not

I don’t want to become obsolete!

By Alexandra Petri  |  10:48 AM ET, 04/08/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Facebook, Twitter

Posted at 03:24 PM ET, 04/07/2014

Sorry, but you can’t fix the Comic Sans font

You can’t replace it either.

By Alexandra Petri  |  03:24 PM ET, 04/07/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  font, fonts, type

Posted at 12:25 PM ET, 04/07/2014

The March Awkward Madness Finals -- it’s down to failed jokes and failed introductions

Telling a joke and no one laughs takes on introducing someone whose name you’ve forgotten.

By Alexandra Petri  |  12:25 PM ET, 04/07/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  awkward

Posted at 11:29 AM ET, 04/07/2014

Study finds our brains are losing their ability to read long, focused books, so here are some TL; DR summaries of the classics

Print books are on the way out!

By Alexandra Petri  |  11:29 AM ET, 04/07/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  ack, books, reading

Posted at 02:24 PM ET, 04/04/2014

Brendan Eich, Mozilla, and the right to be wrong

Stop the belief litmus test.

By Alexandra Petri  |  02:24 PM ET, 04/04/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Brendan Eich, free speech, gay rights, Mozilla

Posted at 01:42 PM ET, 04/04/2014

George W. Bush’s eerie, amazing, creepy paintings of Putin, cats and beyond -- an analysis

It’s worth a thousand words.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:42 PM ET, 04/04/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Art, Bush, paintings

Posted at 07:09 PM ET, 04/03/2014

March Awkward Madness, Final Four: ‘Waving back at someone who wasn’t waving at you’ takes on ‘Telling a joke and no one laughs’

May the cringiest prevail.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:09 PM ET, 04/03/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  awkward

Posted at 07:04 PM ET, 04/03/2014

David Letterman to leave late-night TV — why not replace him with a woman?

No ladies need apply.

By Alexandra Petri  |  07:04 PM ET, 04/03/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  jimmy, late night

Posted at 05:41 PM ET, 04/02/2014

It’s okay, I played Jesus and George Washington, says Vampire LARPer/Florida GOP candidate

Actually, a Vampire LARPer might be just what Congress needs.

By Alexandra Petri  |  05:41 PM ET, 04/02/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Congress, florida, larp, vampires

Posted at 01:19 PM ET, 04/01/2014

Stephen Colbert’s modest proposal: Do not #CancelColbert

And Jonathan Swift makes a cameo, so you know it’s serious.

By Alexandra Petri  |  01:19 PM ET, 04/01/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  colbert, context

Posted at 08:40 AM ET, 04/01/2014

How I Coped With Your TV Show Finale (for instance, on How I Met Your Mother)

Well, you waited for it, and it was -- dary.

By Alexandra Petri  |  08:40 AM ET, 04/01/2014 |  Permalink  |  Comments ( 0)
Tags:  Finales

 

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