“I’ve been in comedy now for 30 years. The only difference is, it’s not stand-up; we all have comfortable chairs.”
So says Arlen Specter, the former Pennsylvania Republican-turned-Democratic senator who left Capitol Hill in January after more than three decades in Congress.
The Philadelphia Inquirer has a video of Specter’s Tuesday night performance at the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, in which the former Senate Judiciary chairman poked some risque fun at former president Bill Clinton, former Pennsylvania governor Ed Rendell and former GOP presidential contender Herman Cain, among others.
Below, video and some highlights of Specter’s routine, which borders on NSFW:
— “Bill Clinton’s a friend of mine, because I was a friend of his. I voted not to impeach him. And that’s a hell of a thing to do, considering the evidence.”
— “I called Clinton up on his 65th birthday and I said, ‘Bill, congratulations on being 65. How do you feel?’ He said, ‘Arlen, I feel like a teenager. The problem is, I can’t find one.’”
— “[Clinton] said, ‘Arlen, you might not understand this, but Hillary is really mad at me because I complained to her about the cost of Viagra. Do you know, Arlen, that Viagra costs ten dollars a pill?’ I said, ‘Bill, how in the hell would I know how much Viagra costs?’ ‘Well, Hillary was mad at me because she said, ‘Bill, you can afford forty dollars a year.’’”
— “I saw [Ed Rendell] on the other street the other day. ‘Arlen,’ he said, ‘you know it’s great being a man about town. I have sex almost every night. I almost have sex on Monday. I almost have sex on Tuesday. I almost have sex on Wednesday.’”
— “Herman Cain has had really quite a checkered career. Nine, nine and nine, and more women came out of the woodwork than there was wood. And what people don’t know is that Cain had had a long-standing problem since he was an adolescent. No matter how hard his teachers tried, they couldn’t persuade Herman Cain that ‘harass’ was one word.”