It’s the Even More Perfect Storm, a hurricane colliding with a massive cold front to create a historic Nor’easter that’s also a Sou’wester. It’ll be like a derecho colliding with a haboob. And terrible humidity.
We’ll be in extra huge trouble if there’s also a solar flare thrown into the mix. That’s what they’re thinking right now at the Capital Weather Gang as they sit around in their gang attire flashing their gang signs. They’re thinking: Please don’t hit us with a coronal mass ejection. Because that’s when the Frankenstorm will see pressure readings not of, say, 930 millibars, but more like 120 millibars. What’s a millibar? You don’t want to know, trust me. But in the worst case scenario, God says, “This one goes to 11.”
In my neighborhood, as always, there’s a mad run on goat cheese. People are shoving and fighting and biting one another at the Whole Foods olive bar. People are weeping at the thought of going days and days without power or prosciutto.
I need to go up on my roof and clean out my gutters, yet another chore that can double as a painful metaphor of my existence. (Please, no sump pump jokes.)
Should I run to Home Depot and buy plastic pipe to attach to the end of the downspout to help the rainwater get away from my foundation as an anti-flooding maneuver? Yes, probably, though another possibility is getting one of those Southwest “Gotta Get Away” tickets and heading to Vegas. Isn’t that a swing state???
Which brings up the big question about the Frankenstorm: What does it mean for Obama?
That’s how people think here in DC. And among the Democrats the more pertinent question is: “Will the Frankenstorm menace Nate Silver?”In an election you talk about the popular vote, but everyone knows what really matters is the electoral college and whatever it is that Nate Silver says. Constitutional scholars at this very moment are researching the question of what will happen if there’s a tie in the electoral college but one candidate is ahead in the Nate Silver now-cast.
More politics: I’m back from another Ohio trip and here’s the bulletin: The election is now. It’s not Nov. 6. People are voting in droves. It’s happening. I spoke to a lot of voters in northern Ohio. My impression is that Obama is holding his base. But I don’t fully trust any of the polls. Not that I think they’re skewed one way or the other: In fact, all joshing aside, I think it’s amazing how sophisticated the Nate Silvers and Wonkblogs of the world have become in forecasting election results. I just don’t see how a random survey can capture the quirks and permutations and hidden undercurrents and rogue zephyrs of the political landscape.
New voters. Immigrants. The demographics change. You saw my story on Florida’s Puerto Ricans. That’s a new state every four years. And the spread of early voting in many states has changed the whole concept of election day. We’re going to have to count the votes this time before we decide who’s won. And even then we could have a disputed election.
I mean, assuming we survive the next few days.