Most Read: National

Live Discussions

Fantasy Football

Fantasy Football

Chat transcript

Last minute lineup, injury tips.

Weekly schedule, past shows

ACHENBLOG
Posted at 04:48 PM ET, 05/10/2012

Gay marriage and the teenage menace

I see this morning that Obama’s statement on gay marriage, and the Obama-Biden relationship, is still the big story on Memeorandum, even though this news broke all the way back on yesterday afternoon. I should write about this since I’m trying to get a little more blog traffic and more Twitter followers and, just generally, more digital vim in my analog life. I used to want to be a writer, but now I tweet, and am learning how to turn a praise. [By the way, it’s May 10, which is historically tomato-planting day in the DC area. Though with this climate change that seems to be going on, all bets are off. Probably we should be harvesting soon.]

Gay marriage: Remind me what’s the objection, precisely? Is the objection that it will somehow fray the bonds of traditional, hetereosexual marriage? Hey: If protecting traditional marriage is the goal, clearly what we need to do is stop worrying about same-sex couples and start worrying about teenagers.

If two gay people somewhere want to get married, there is zero effect, so far as I can tell, on my own, State of Florida-sanctioned, opposite-sex marital union. But if my high school daughter announces that, while wandering Dupont Circle. she met a biker named Virus who wants to take her to a music-and-culture festival (“Scumaggedon”) held every year in Death Valley, my wife and I have to spend hours debating whether it’s a good idea.

I tend to be more lenient. I’m like: Only if she wears a helmet!

(I’ve said it a million times: The one thing I don’t like about having children is this thing they call “parenting.”)

So it’s stressful, raising kids, especially when the hormones start surging and they turn into – how can I say this politely? – Creatures from the Black Lagoon. They’re walking, breathing wedge issues. This is why I’m a little worried about what Obama said Wednesday. He didn’t so much endorse gay marriage as he endorsed the gay marital bliss and domesticity. He said in an email to supporters last night: “I’ve thought about members of my staff in long-term, committed, same-sex relationships who are raising kids together.”

Does that mean gays can only get married if they promise to buy a house and raise kids and be as boring as possible?

Can gays get married impulsively in Vegas, or is that for straights only?

Who speaks for gay divorce?

My own family background has been a bit non-traditional. My parents divorced when I was a year old, before I had the wherewithal to talk them through their conflicts and explain that, in their case, divorce was a really, really good idea.

My father was a big believer in getting married, which is why he did it so often. I don’t want to exaggerate here, but my list of step-mothers is something that Democratic and Republican strategists refer toas “the Florida electorate.”

We all bring a cultural framework to these issues. We’re all evolving in our beliefs to some extent. I’m not entirely comfortable with certain aspects of modern culture — for example, all the “rap” music, or whatever they call it — but I think freedom and equality and liberty should be enjoyed by everyone.

Once they reach the age of 21, of course.

By  |  04:48 PM ET, 05/10/2012

 
Read what others are saying
     

    © 2011 The Washington Post Company