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Posted at 08:14 AM ET, 05/06/2011

The kill Osama bin Laden game

Something’s in the air or maybe in the water because I’ll full of great ideas this morning about how to LEVERAGE the Osama bin Laden thing in a manner that simultaneously helps our nation’s fiscal situation and is fun for the whole family. Or maybe fun for just the guys in the family. Yeah, I’m thinking computer game. Kill Osama. Rated M for Mature.

First you have to make it through Navy SEALs training. Then you gotta track the guy across Afghanistan and Pakistan and find him in the safe house. Then you have to conduct the commando raid itself.

It’s an obvious idea. In fact such a game already exists, from Kuma Games. We live in an entrepreneurial culture, which is to say, nothing is so tawdry or low that we can’t find a way to make a buck from it.

But here’s where my idea goes to 11: This game can have the Navy SEALs seal of approval.

It’s the official game, sponsored by the U.S. military, with the revenue going to the U.S. Treasury! Billions and billions of dollars, for real.

And I know you’re thinking: What a bad idea. Inappropriate. Undignified. Barbaric. And I couldn’t agree more. But have you seen our balance sheet? Yoo-gly! Dignity ain’t something we can afford, my friends.

We have to take our opportunities where we can find them, and don’t get all shocked and huffy when we start selling the national parks to investors to help offset our deficits. The Treasury secretary has already started talking about asset sales. Yellowstone is GONE, trust me. You want to see those bears, you’ll be buying a $50 ticket from the Walt Disney Company.

Already we’ve endured the awkwardness of the government allowing a car company to obtain name sponsorship of the Lincoln Memorial. I’ve never quite gotten used to saying “The Lincoln Town Car Memorial,” but I’m glad we got the money for the Treasury. At least it’s an American car.

But I’m still furious that we let Philip Morris buy the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Nothing good can come of that.

By  |  08:14 AM ET, 05/06/2011

 
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