This may be 2012’s funniest commencement speech — if that’s what you want to call it.
Ellen DeGeneres, on her television show “Ellen,” put on a commencement ceremony for teenage superstar Justin Bieber, who really did just graduate from high school.
Bieber didn’t attend a brick and mortar high school, but was tutored and then took the GED test, which he passed, according to the Los Angeles Times.
DeGeneres was hilarious in her speech, in which she says in part:
“We’re here to honor the accomplishments of the Biebs, a great American who happens to be from Canada. Justin, you finally made it, you’re graduating and I’m so proud of you, because I’ve always said, ‘There ain’t nothing more better than an education...’ ”
“You’re only 18 and you are already an international superstar. When I was 18 my biggest accomplishment was drinking a whole bottle of boysenberry syrup from the International House of Pancakes.
“Justin, I have been there for you since the beginning of your career.... But you should know that in the future I can’t always be there. I have a haircut next Thursday and Friday I’m at the spa....
“So now that you are graduating you are going to have to be able to survive on your own. You’re going to need a strong character, a good business sense and you’re going to need suspenders. Honestly, your pants have to be pulled up at some point....”
Bieber wears a traditional graduation cap that is rigged to some device that allows it to sit above his famous tousled hair.
Bieber said he finished high school for his mom, Pattie Malette, who “attended” the ceremony along with his manager. “That was something my mom really wanted me to do, so I had to do it for her,” Bieber said.
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