Colbert’s ‘Common Core Confusion’

Stephen Colbert took on the Common Core State Standards on his “Colbert Report”  on Tuesday night, and it was hilarious. Here’s the video and below a partial transcript:

 

Here’s a partial transcript:

It is no secret that President Barack Obama wants to indoctrinate our students with his Socialist agenda. I’ve even heard some disturbing rumors that kindergartners are being forced to share. That’s why I’ve long opposed his Common Core curriculum, which sets uniform education standards across all 50 states. No way mister. Different states have different values. I don’t want my kids ending up in Colorado’s drug education course which classifies weed as a condiment.

But folks, as much as I didn’t expect it, I may be coming around to the Common Core because it turns out that Common Core testing prepares our students for what they will face as adults, pointless stress and confusion.

[Then he shows some clips of news shows talking about how much stress Common Core testing is producing and says:]

Oh come on! Tests are supposed to be stressful. That’s why its called a blood pressure test which, by the way, I aced with a perfect 1600….

There’s hard proof that  the Common Core has already opened up our children’s minds to new ways of thinking. Just look at this actual answer [to a Common Core question] given by a California second grader:

Mike saw 17 blue cars and 25 green cars at the toy store. How many cars did he see? Write a number sentence with a [ ] for the missing number. Explain how the number sentence shows the problem.

17+25= [42] I got the answer by talking in my brain and I agree of the answer that my brain got.

Valerie Strauss covers education and runs The Answer Sheet blog.
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Valerie Strauss · April 9