At the Dartmouth College commencement Sunday morning, comedian Conan O’Brien gave the keynote address while former President George H.W. Bush (a fellow honorary degree recipient) sat behind him and listened.
“I pray I never witness a more damning example of what is wrong with America today,” O’Brien said.
But I doubt Bush would have made the nearly 1,800 graduates laugh quite so hard.
And, chances are, Bush also wouldn’t have summed up Dartmouth’s insecurity in the Ivy League by saying: “If Harvard, Yale and Princeton are your self-involved, vain, name-dropping older brothers, you are the cool, sexually confident, lacrosse-playing younger sibling who knows how to throw a party and looks good in a down vest. Brown, of course, is your lesbian sister who never leaves her room. And Penn, Columbia and Cornell — well, frankly, who gives a (bleep).”
The speech is hilarious — and it even contains practical advice for parents who will now be supporting an unemployed, basement-dwelling college grad. You can watch highlights (below), the full speech (after the jump) or read the transcript.