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Posted at 01:40 PM ET, 08/13/2010

How to cope with the heat: Tell a joke

* Cooler: Full Forecast | SkinsCast | NatCast | Heat & storms linked? *

You don't need me or anyone else to tell you we're living through one heck of a hot and humid summer. It doesn't matter whether it's due to (or just "consistent" with) global warming scenarios, El Nino or some other manifestation of "natural variability," or a devious plot by geoengineering geeks to compensate for the past winter's snow and cold. The bottom line: Living through this summer for most is an uncomfortable, if not miserable experience. Personally, I know the summer has become intolerable when lap swimming produces symptoms of heat stroke.

Short of moving to Alaska (or never leaving an air conditioned building), what to do? One way to cope is placing mind over matter -- imagine yourself, for example, standing near the North Pole atop the last piece of Arctic Ice wearing only a bathing suit while watching polar bears diving off surrounding ice flows.

If that doesn't work, how about some good summer weather jokes? In that vein, I reviewed my collection of weather jokes accumulated from various sources over the years. None of these are original, and I'm not sure of specific sources, except where noted. (A quick Google search, however, reveals that almost all appear without attribution on several websites.)

Here's a sampling of some of my favorites. And by the way, some are pretty close to the truth:

If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor.
Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly, we d have to call them slow-i-canes.

Trying to take your mind off this not-so-funny summer? Keep reading for more jokes...

What do clouds want to be when they grow up? Thunderstorms.
Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOX News? It's a no spin zone.
There had been a rumor that the new Miami baseball team would be called "Humidity" so that fans could say, "it's not the Heat that's so bad, it's the Humidity."
How do hurricanes see? With one eye.
The farmers must feed their cows ice cubes, so they don't give powdered milk.

It's so hot...

I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea. -Johnny Carson
I spilled McDonald's coffee on myself to cool down. -Johnny Carson.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
President Obama looked at his poll numbers just to get the chills. -Jay Leno
The team who beat the Orioles actually broke a sweat.
I saw a chicken lay a hard-boiled egg.

Please feel free to comment below with additional jokes, stories, or links to videos.

By  |  01:40 PM ET, 08/13/2010

Categories:  Humor, Humor

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