A weekly investigation of “American Horror Story: Asylum,” as well as, when applicable, the “American Horror Story: Asylum” bakery. Spoilers lie ahead.
In this week’s episode of “American Horror Story: Asylum,” the tables turned on Sister Jude, turning her from judgmental mental-illness assessor in a nun’s habit into crazy lady in restraints screaming for help that won’t come.
We found out that Kit is possibly a baby-making machine fathering an alien super-race.
And it became apparent that there’s a much more open policy at Briarcliff that allows patients to freely roam the halls because how else could Sarah Paulson possibly have continued to show up wherever she pleases?
Uh-oh. I just asked a question. We’d better segue directly to the 10 official questions about this week’s “American Horror Story: Asylum,” an episode charmingly dubbed “The Coat Hanger.”
1. So was anyone surprised that Dylan McDermott turned out to be the son of Bloody Face?
Not really, right? The Internet and McDermott’s Twitter feed mostly spoiled that reveal two weeks ago. Once the actor formerly known as Ben Harmon showed up on "American Horror Story: Asylum,” he officially confirmed that he, too, has a thing for removing women’s skin. He also mentioned that he’s currently living at his dad’s house and that his last name is Threadson, and, in case that wasn’t enough to convey the situation, he clearly stated he’s the son of Bloody Face. This makes me believe that Dr. Thredson (Zachary Quinto) never did face his own serial killer judgment day.
It was strange watching McDermott confess to a therapist in an office that vaguely resembled the one his character used on the first “American Horror Story.” Speaking of Dr. Gardner (played by Brooke Smith), I felt super awful for her. She already managed to escape from a psycho skinner of women once, in “The Silence of the Lambs.” It was obvious she couldn’t get that lucky twice,
2. Is it fair to assume we’ll end up at the Threadson basement again, in present day?
Yes, I have a feeling that Thredson Jr.'s decision to butcher both Gardner and, presumably, her next patient, may lead police to search his premises and discover a whole bunch of bodies from the 1960s that have been hanging out on ice for a few decades. But we’ll have to wait and see.
3. How did Ian McShane’s Lee survive Sister Jude’s throat stabbing?
Last week, Jude jammed a sharp object into Lee’s neck, causing a fountain of blood to spurt forth from his throat area, just above his Santa collar. I thought for sure he was dead, but he managed to live to torture Sister Jude for another day, at least. Oh, and to stick the monsignor on a crucifix. I’m not sure how he survived unless Sister Mary Eunice blew a little devil juice his way, enough to allow him to withstand things like massive blood loss.
4. The Monsignor’s name just came up. Are we supposed to sympathize with him or not?
Here’s the deal with the monsignor: He’s a wimp. But he’s the worst kind of wimp, the kind who knows Dr. Arden is doing something dastardly and lets it happen, clearly cares on some level for Sister Jude but still locks her away on Mentally Unsound Row, and stupidly believes that Lee has reformed his character enough to merit free swim time in holy water. Among the men on this show who abuse people to an extreme (Arden, Thredson), monsignor represents a different kind of male, one whose wishy-washiness and naivete still result in a form of abuse. Congrats, Joseph Fiennes.
5. Let’s discuss Lana and the fact that she’s carrying Threadson’s baby. Did we see this coming?
Well, you guys did.
In a comment posted to last week’s recap, Hate4Snyder wrote: “Oh and Lana must be pregnant, hence the vomiting?? With Bloody Face Jr. . . . Dylan McDermott!”
Bingo. It all made sense, which is why that reveal, like much of this episode, lacked the desired shock value.
6. So how come Lana wasn’t able to get rid of the baby?
That was perplexing since she did manage to cause some significant blood loss and get absolutely no medical attention. Perhaps Bloody Face Jr. is just destined to be born. Or Satan is somehow supporting the creation of this new, depraved life, in which case there is nothing Lana can physically do to stop it from happening.
I still can’t figure out how Lana got all the way back to her cell with a coat hanger up her sleeve. What, now that Frank’s gone there’s zero security at this place?
Oh, another possibility: Maybe the aliens are keeping her at Briarcliff so they can snatch the child from her once he’s born.
7. That brings us to Kit. Why are the aliens so fixated on his capacity to impregnate women?
Dr. Arden implied that there is something about Kit that is attractive to the ETs, whom the Nazi now also believes are real, what with the webby footprints they left behind and all.
But what is that special something? Is it simply that Evan Peters is so adorable, as most of Twitter concluded long ago? Arden mentioned that the aliens are engaged in eugenics, which, being a Nazi, he probably knows something about. We normally think of eugenics as a means to wipe out a population based on race, ethnicity or some specific, “unsavory” characteristic (like, say, mental illness).
But what if the aliens are attempting to do something a little unusual? What if they have fixated on Kit and, perhaps, Thredson because both men are genetically capable of strictly fathering male children?
Translation: The aliens are total sexists, you guys, And they’re trying to systematically create a population of strong male humans so that, eventually, people will cease to reproduce.
Look, it’s just a theory. But it’s one I think we should consider.
8. How did Thredson escape?
After being tied up in a spare room at Briarcliff for an improbable amount of time, the bad doctor suddenly disappeared. It’s possible that someone at Briarcliff found him and set him free. Or there’s another alternative: the aliens helped him.
In keeping with my previous theory I’m going to say. . . aliens.
9. Will Jude really make it up to Lana as she promised?
It’s hard to see how she can when she no longer has any power. But as I said in a previous recap, I fully expect there to be a nun vs. Nazi showdown at some point that coincides time-wise with the release of “The Sound of Music.” And if Jude triumphs, I honestly do believe she will set Lana free. But, as noted above, that might not be enough to stop Bloody Face or the birth of her sweet little cherub, Dylan McDermott, serial killer.
10. Last question: Is it kind of odd that “American Horror Story: Asylum” was brought to us last night by Victoria’s Secret?
Hey, where do you think Jessica Lange gets all those silky crimson negligees? Or that Frances Conroy acquired those angel wings? It’s thee perfect synergy of depraved television and sexy lingerie.
And on that note, let’s go straight to your comments.