As we all heard this week when the Internet — including this blog — started shouting really loudly and joyfully about it, the cast and crew of “Arrested Development” has begun shooting new episodes for Netflix. This, er, development caused Jason Bateman to tweet a photo from the set, then more photos to be released, then people on Twitter to simultaneously freak out while making never-nude jokes, and then The Atlantic to make this list of the 10 dirtiest jokes that somehow got on the air during “Arrested Development’s” three-season run.
I can’t trump the dirty joke rundown, which was spectacular even if it did completely neglect Tobias Funke’s “I just blue myself” gag. So what I’ve done instead is compose this Friday list of the five minor “Arrested Development” characters — in order from lowest priority to highest — who simply must be included in the new episodes and/or the ensuing movie. We already know all the key Bluths are onboard. But the faces mentioned below need to be seen again as well.
(Note: Kitty Sanchez, Barry Zuckerkorn and Bob Loblaw are not on this list, even though I appreciate the work of Judy Greer, Henry Winkler and Scott Baio. That’s because this list is short, exclusive and discerning.)
(Second note: This list, by the way and for the record, is a different list from the one Movieline made Thursday of the 9 Things the ‘Arrested Development’ Movie Must Include. Seriously, Internet, you are so excited about this. And clearly I can relate.)
5. Lucille Austero
The love between Lucille 2 and Buster can never die, nor should it. Is it wrong to say that, apart from “Cabaret,” her work on “Arrested Development” stands as the best acting of Liza Minnelli’s career? Because if it is, then I don’t particularly care to be right.
4. Steve Holt
Steve Holt is the “Arrested Development” equivalent of Squiggy: He pops in at just the right moment, says his signature line and amuses the viewing public endlessly. You know, when he’s not being all melancholy about his daddy issues. His presence — and his exclamation pointed catch phrase — are clearly vital.
3. Ann Veal
I know Mae Whitman is busy with “Parenthood.” But surely she can carve out some time on her schedule for some awkward encounters with George-Michael and a few more rounds of Michael Bluth not remembering her name. She needs to be in the mix; it’s as nose as the plain on Ann’s face.
First of all, he’s a Bluth. Second, he played a pretty key role in what happened during the season three finale. Third of all, he’s Annyong. I mean, hello? Or rather, annyong?
1. Franklin Delano Bluth
That racially inappropriate puppet has so much talent. He deserves another chance at stardom. And we — and by we I mean humanity — deserve to finally hear his recording of “Franklin Comes Alive” in its entirety. Hopefully the new installments of “Arrested Development” will finally, finally afford us that opportunity.