When “Dancing With the Stars” kicks off its twelfth season tonight, one man will undoubtedly stand out as
the contestant most deserving of the public’s support. His name is Ralph Macchio. And here in Celebritology, he’s the person we’re rooting for to win it all in the coming weeks.
Why is Macchio our dancer of choice? Here are six reasons.
(Note: At least four of these reasons are directly related to “The Karate Kid.”)
1. Ralph Macchio was a popular movie star in the ‘80s. As a woman considered middle-aged by network TV standards, I’m smack in the middle of the “Dancing With the Stars” demographic. Consequently, every time this show tosses in a former teen star (or an actor who played a teen) from the ‘80s, that’s who I will root for every time. Did it with Jennifer Grey, and that clearly worked out well. And I’ll do it again with Macchio. (Note to “Dancing With the Stars” producers: if you could cast the next season based solely on who was in Tiger Beat circa 1985, that would be fantastic.)
2. Macchio has the sensitive soul of a dancer. How do I know this? Because he told Pony Boy to stay gold.
3. As will undoubtedly be pointed out multiple times this season, Macchio can sand the floor, paint the fence and wax both on and off. You’re telling me those weren’t dance moves? I’ve seen people attempt to do the wax-on, wax-off dance at weddings on multiple occasions. None of them came close to achieving Macchio’s grace.
4. Macchio has an innate sense of precision. He’s able to catch a fly in a set of chopsticks on practically the first try, for God’s sake.
5. Macchio also has a masterful sense of balance. Do you think Kirstie Alley or Wendy Williams can do a crane kick? Doubt it.
6. The longer Macchio stays on DWTS, the greater likelihood that Billy Zabka will show up in the audience. I mean, that probably won’t happen. But for reasons that should not need explaining, it would be awesome if it did.