The celebrity-obsessed often wish for holiday gifts that are a little, well, unrealistic. This is why some parents have had to explain to their tween daughters at least 10 times that, while Santa Claus is quite magical, he simply can’t stuff Justin Bieber into a stocking. But it’s still possible to give or receive a little piece of Bieber — or other entertainers, TV shows and films — this holiday season. With that in mind, here are a few gift ideas for the celebrity and pop culture lovers in your life.
Someday by Justin Bieber: If you’ve recently frequented a Macy’s, you’ve probably seen a display touting the singer’s latest fragrance, available as a perfume, scented body lotion and even — oh, the possibilities — hair mist. You also may have seen that online video, one we wrote about here in Celebritology, in which he appeals directly to dads to buy his product. “Next time you hear her scream my name, relax,” the boy wonder quips, referring to the daughters of his potential paternal consumers. “It’s better than hearing her scream ‘Joey’ who lives next door. Am I right?”
It’s unclear whether this will help sales or lead to a wide-scale ban on Someday by Justin Bieber.
The “I Am T-Pain” microphone: Today’s parents often ask themselves: “Am I providing my child with the autotuning tools he or she needs to truly thrive?” Thankfully, this toy — which allows kids to alter their voices via the press of a button that unleashes “The T-Pain Effect” — will make sure America’s sons and daughters can perform “I’m on a Boat” the way nature intended.
A plush Lil’ Sebastian
As “Parks and Recreation” has already taught us, all the tributes in the world can’t bring Lil’ Sebastian — Pawnee’s beloved miniature horse — back from the dead. (Half mast is too high, indeed.) But for only $19, you can continue to remember him fondly by snuggling up with this plush version of the lil’ horse who made us all want to be better people.
The Kim Kardashian Christmas ornament: The Kardashian family has already invaded our televisions, the magazines in our grocery store aisles and our dreams. At this point, we may as well give them some real estate on the Christmas tree. Designer Christopher Radko created the sparkly pink Kim Kardashian ornament — along with other bobbles sporting signatures from celebs like Heidi Klum — exclusively for Bloomingdale’s as part of a charity effort for the Child Mind Institute. Yes, the proceeds from sales go to a worthy cause. So we can’t completely make fun of Kim K. for this one. (Note: The ornament was sold out last I checked on the Bloomingdale’s Web site. So you may have to do some hunting at brick-and-mortar stores.)
“The Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook”
One of the pleasures of reading Suzanne Collins’s young-adult series that’s soon to be a movie can be found in the descriptions of the luxurious meals Katniss Everdeen enjoys in the Capitol. This cookbook — which admittedly has a semi-oxymoronic title — gives you the tools to turn those descriptions into actual meals. Who’s up for some of Katniss’s beloved lamb stew?
The “I ♥ Ryan Gosling” onesie
You can never get them started too young, which surely is why this item is for sale on Cafe Press. After all, the Gosling-loving baby of today is the potential Sexiest Man Alive voter of tomorrow.
“Dancing With the Stars” hair extensions: Elongate your locks with a piece from the hair-lengthening line inspired by the ABC dance competition show. Sadly, none of the faux ponytails or pretend bangs will allow ladies to look exactly like recent competitor Nancy Grace. For that, keep praying for a Christmas miracle.
Lisbeth Salander clothes
The fashion line based on “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” character and designed by Trish Summerville, the costumer for the David Fincher film, has finally launched in H&M stores. One of those punk leather jackets or slouchy pants is the perfect gift for someone who wants to say to the world, “Abuse me and I will abuse you right back. Also, I hacked into your computer and am totally reading your e-mail right now.”
Donations to celebrity-endorsed charities: Donating to organizations that do good works is always a nice idea. To add the glamour effect that a celebrity-fixated gift recipient craves, contribute money on his or behalf to a charity spearheaded by a star — perhaps the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, Matt Damon’s water.org or the Demi & Ashton Foundation. The Moore/Kutcher marriage may be over, but the nonprofit that bears their names is indeed focused on ending child sex slavery.