Katie Rogers, a social media producer for the Post, provides this recap of last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” in which awkwardness ensues and The Situation confesses to his Snooki crush.
As the second episode of this season’s “Jersey Shore” dawns on an extremely early morning in a Florence nightclub, it's clear that the only thing on any cast member's mind is a sticky, sloppy love tonic. Once again, the show will sidestep any topics of geo-political import to ponder such weighty topics as the "Proper Execution of Friends-With-Benefits" or the "Appropriate Way to Argue with Boyfriends While Abroad." To foreshadow the exploration of these issues, the show begins with a kiss.
Specifically, a drunken kiss between castmates Deena Cortese and Paul "DJ" Pauly D" DelVecchio.
What ensues can only be described as a lopsided battle of the sexes.
“Let’s hook up and cuddle,” slurs Deena.
“Yeah, I know,” Pauly says, playing dumb and ducking from her grasp.
Cue Pauly in one of the show’s docu-interviews: “Never in my life have I had a girl that could just hook up and … no feelings.”
Deena goes to bed alone. Pauly makes fun of her. She gets angry. He buys her a bracelet. Such is "Jersey Shore"-style amoré.
Later on, the roommates tackle serious relationships. While Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi argues with her far-away beau, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino lurks near the phone, hoping to catch a scorned woman on the rebound. During another late-night conversation, Mike confesses his crush on Snooki, but the sexual tension appears one-sided thus far.
Not to be outdone, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro’s drunken alter-ego Single Ronnie threatens to leave his ex-girlfriend Sammi “Sweatheart” Giancola completely behind. She dissolves into the sort of hysterics we saw in absolutely every episode last season.
Beyond mating, the castmates continue to not-quite hilariously interact with their surroundings. They endure their first day of orientation at their required pizzeria gig, argue over how to boil water during Sunday dinner and explore the quaint Florence streets.
“It looks like ‘Beauty and the Beast’ or something,” remarks castmate Vinny Guadagnino during daytime errands. “I feel like people are gonna start singin’ out of their windows.”
Other sightseeing includes misidentifying the very historical architecture of Florence.
“Is that the Vatican?” Deena asks while standing in front of a cathedral that is definitely not the Vatican.
During one of the day trips, Snooki makes what may very well be an unintentionally excellent summary of the entire season:
“I love Rome. I mean, Italy.”
What will happen next for our crew? Will Ron and Sam get back together? Will the situation explode between Mike and Snooki? Tell us in the comments below or by using #Snookinalysis on Twitter.