Duchess Catherine of Cambridge, the royal formerly known as Kate Middleton, might be pregnant. Or she might not be. No one really knows for sure because neither the royal family nor its spokespeople have said anything on the subject. But that hasn’t stopped another round of “Is Kate expecting?” rumors from swirling in the wake of stunning — I repeat, stunning, in italics — news that, during a state banquet in Singapore, she chose to drink water instead of wine.
The Daily Beast’s Royalist columnist Tom Sykes first made note of the H2O evidence Tuesday, writing that “the future queen TWICE made toasts ... by drinking water instead of wine,” adding that it is “highly unusual” for royals to “toast with anything but a full glass of wine.” (In case you weren’t aware, pregnant ladies aren’t supposed to drink alcohol, especially at state banquets. It specifically says that in “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”)
The New York Daily News picked up that story and ran with it, also suggesting that the Duchess “showed what may be a hint of a baby bump” in the dress she wore to the banquet.
Kelly Ripa then mentioned the Daily News item Wednesday morning on “Live! with Kelly and Michael” (a title that still sounds weird to me), and then ABC News wrote about it, and now I’m writing about it and bam! That’s how people get pregnant. Everything you heard in sex education class and may have even experienced in your own lives when you started families is dead wrong. People — at least the famous ones — develop baby bumps from media buzz. Now you know.
If the media is acting a bit overexcited and absurd about all this, it’s only out of love. Everyone would be thrilled if William and Kate became parents because it would allow us to coo over the Duchess’s maternity dresses and then coo even more when images of the royal swaddled babe are eventually released. Look, Beyonce and Jay-Z already had their kid, and the child currently getting the most attention in these United States is Honey Boo Boo. America needs this, even if William and Kate are, technically, British.
Nevertheless, it would be wise to process these latest rumors with a measure of caution since such stories have circulated before, most recently when Duchess Catherine decided not to eat peanut paste last November at a UNICEF factory in Copenhagen. That incident was cited as The Pregnancy Proof, and here we are, 10 months later, with no royal baby.
Now we’ll have to wait and see if this high-profile wine-voidance is the key clue that ultimately leads to the Best Famous Baby News Ever.