Some people call it the Academy Awards red carpet. Personally, I refer to it as the epicenter of intelligent discourse in America.
It’s the place where the central question of our time is asked over and over again — “Who are you wearing?” — and answered repeatedly, with enthusiasm, keen attention to detail and as many product placements as one can jam into a 10-second time frame. It’s also a loving environment where candor is truly appreciated, which is why some journalists can ask serious thespians, “What will you do if you lose?” without feeling any sense of shame.
Seriously, despite the way it looks from the comfort of one's couch, being on the red carpet at the Oscars is not an easy gig. Reporters in formal wear are wedged up against each other like Metro riders on an overcrowded train on a day when every line is single-tracking. And every one of them is trying desperately, borderline pathetically, to attract the attention of the same glamorous movie stars.
If your red carpet bait (read: maniacal yelling) actually gets a George Clooney on the line, you may be so excited by your catch that you forget what you wanted to ask and suddenly revert to Ralph Wiggum Red Carpet Mode. “So,” you ask Clooney after a long pause, “do you like ... stuff?”
I don’t want this to happen to me come Sunday, when I’ll once again be parked on the Academy Awards red carpet. That’s why I’m reaching out to you astute Celebritology readers for suggestions: What would you ask the Brad Pitts and Viola Davises of the world if you could pose a question on the red carpet?
Share your ideas by tweeting them, using the hashtag #redcarpetquestion. Or post a comment below. Hit the “Recommend” button to highlight the suggested questions you like the best; the ones with the most votes will rise to the top of the comments section, and may even be posed at the Academy Awards this weekend.