The news broke Friday that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally engaged to be married. While the globe continued to rotate on its axis even though clearly it should have paused for a couple of seconds out of respect, the celebrity media world responded as anticipated, with crucial follow-up stories on what is destined to be the most-dissected nuptials since ... well since last year, when Prince William and Kate Middleton walked down the aisle.
Here are a few of the Brangelina-engagement-related stories currently winding their way through the Internets.
—People magazine, unsurprisingly, made Jolie and Pitt its cover story, publishing a piece that notes that Jolie’s ring — the one that Benjamin Button helped carefully design for his bride-to-be — cost $1 million and weighs an estimated 10 carats at least. That’s half the size of and cost of Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring, for those keeping track of such matters.
—Jolie has already started trying on wedding dresses. All right, fine, Celebuzz has just Photoshopped wedding dresses on her and created a silly photo gallery out of it. Close enough.
—The affianced couple and their six children might be moving to the U.K. for the next two years due to Angelina Jolie’s three back-to-back film commitments in England, if a report in The Sun is true. That story suggests the wedding won’t take place in the U.K., however, and that it’s more likely to happen at their home in France. Probably a smart move. If they marry in England, there’s always the risk that this could happen.
—Oh, just kidding. Everyone has moved on from the whole Aniston/Pitt/Jolie triangle. In fact, Aniston is reportedly happy for her ex, according to a vaguely sourced item in Hollywood Life. “She is so in love with Justin [Theroux], that she is really grateful how things turned out,” the unnamed Aniston friend (presumably Gunther) tells the Web site. “In a strange way if it weren’t for Angelina, Jennifer would not have connected with Justin in a romantic way. ... I wouldn’t be surprised if she even went to their wedding.”
— For the record, the Pitt-Jolie kids are also very happy about all this. Just in case you were wondering.
Reaction in the French town where they couple has a home is described by The Connexion as “muted.” “We would like to pass on our most sincere congratulations and best wishes for the future,” said a local winemaker in an appropriately polite statement.
— Let’s go back to America, where our citizens regularly hyperventilate about this kind of thing and where the Jolie/Pitt wedding has already been dubbed “the media event of the new century.” An editor at the Hollywood Reporter gave it that title in this AP story. So once we finish covering this story, I guess that means all of us media folks can take a vacation for the next 88 years — 87 if the wedding doesn’t happen until 2013 — because clearly, our work here will be done.