As announced via press release today and reported via the Washington Post’s TV Column, Comedy Central will broadcast a roast of Charlie Sheen on Sept. 19 at 10 p.m., after CBS’s much heralded return of “Two and a Half Men” sans Sheen.
This is an incredibly smart programming move on Comedy Central’s part and one that will inevitably steal some buzz away from Ashton Kutcher and co. both before and after the debut of the new “Men.” (The roast will take place on Sept. 10, so presumably many of the best jokes will leak online in advance of its airing.) It’s also an excuse to suggest that Charlie Sheen is again “winning,” a catch phrase we haven’t used for at least a month because Sheen did not appear to be doing anything close to that.
Presumably some of the usual comedians will participate in this Sheen Mockapalooza: Jeffrey Ross and Patton Oswalt, who both joined Sheen on his recent tour; Jimmy Kimmel; maybe Lisa Lampanelli. But there are certain people that would make especially intriguing roasters. Here are five of them.
Denise Richards : It would be completely unhealthy for Sheen’s and Richards’ children to watch their mom diss their dad on national television. But it would make for delicious television. Surely Richards has tons of material from which she could draw. And hey, it’s the perfect opportunity to start promoting that memoir she’s reportedly writing.
Demi Moore : Clearly Ashton Kutcher can’t show up for this roast, given his role on “Two and a Half Men.” (That goes double for Jon Cryer.) But that doesn’t have to stop Kutcher’s wife, who has known Sheen for decades and was once engaged to his brother, Emilio Estevez. And wouldn’t booking Moore be the ultimate way for Sheen to flip the bird at his former CBS bosses?
Roseanne: Speaking of bird flipping, Roseanne would undoubtedly be a strong roaster. And in a recent New York magazine story, she seemed somewhat sympathetic to (as well as annoyed by) his situation. Given her dislike of TV executives, she might relish this opportunity to try to beat CBS at its own sitcom-buzz-generating game.
Oliver Stone: You never know what Oliver Stone might say. So imagine him in a roast format, speaking extemporaneously about working with Sheen on “Platoon” and “Wall Street,” explaining why he cast Tom Cruise in “Born on the Fourth of July” instead of Sheen and, if we’re lucky, expanding on a few conspiracy theories. Like his movie ”Alexander,” Stone’s portion of the roast would, of course, spawn its own director’s cut.
Martin Sheen: The only way Charlie Sheen’s dad might consider participating in this event is if the roast actually turned out to be a surprise intervention for his son. Which might be just what the former “Men” star needs. Now that would be spectacular television: Charlie Harper dies on CBS, then Charlie Sheen gets reborn on Comedy Central