What does it all mean? Honestly, in the wide scheme of things, not a whole lot. But let’s break down the Emmys by the numbers anyway. Because when you apply mathematical principles to all things, we gather data. And if we have data, that makes us think we didn’t waste the past 12-plus hours paying attention to a silly awards show.
Look, just play along.
Number of Emmys that “Mad Men” won this year: 0. Seriously, out of 11 nominations, the drama that has often seemed overlauded walked away with nothing. I guess that makes Matthew Weiner an underdog for next year?
Number of times the term “sex idiot” was used during an Emmy-related broadcast: Only one, to my knowledge, when Tina Fey explained to Ryan Seacrest on E! that Ryan Lochte will play “a sex idiot” on the upcoming final season of “30 Rock.”
Number of Emmys that “Parks and Recreation” won: Also zero.
Number of Emmys that Louis C.K. won: Two — one for writing an episode of “Louie” and another for writing his FX special, “Louis C.K. Live at the Beacon Theatre.”
Number of references Giuliana Rancic made to her new son Duke during the E! red carpet show: Three, by my count, unless I flipped away during another “I’m a new mom” moment. This is far fewer times than I anticipated.
Number of times Lena Dunham appeared naked on television Sunday night: Twice. First on the E! red carpet show, when a photo of her conferring in the buff on the “Girls” set was (forgive me) flashed onscreen. Which was kind of inspiring. The second time occurred during the Emmy opener, when she appeared in a sketch naked (with naughty bits obscured) while eating cake and sitting on a toilet. Which was kind of gross.
Number of Emmy winners wearing mustard yellow dresses: There were three: “Modern Family’s” Julie Bowen . . .
“Game Change’s” Julianne Moore . . .
and “Homeland’s” Claire Danes.
This is unprecedented.
Number of Emmys “Homeland” won: Six total, including the prizes won during the Creative Arts Emmys.
Number of times we gleefully shouted “Magnets!,” either on Twitter, out loud or silently to ourselves, when Aaron Paul won best supporting actor for “Breaking Bad”: Approximately 17.
Number of times a winner’s speech was played out by the orchestra: Three, by my count. It happened to Tom Berenger, Glenn Weiss (who won outstanding director for a variety special and orchestrated the play-out) and the “Modern Family” crew when they won best comedy. ABC and the Emmy producers really wanted to finish this thing on time.
Number of jokey expressions of resentment toward Jon Stewart for constantly winning Emmys for “The Daily Show”: I don’t know, at least three? Kimmel said something about it at one point, and both Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon tackled him to prevent him from collecting the outstanding variety, music or comedy series statuette. Not sure if that tackle counts as one or two expressions of resentment, but I say two since it involved a pair of fellow nominees.
Number of bleeped f-bombs: One, which happened during Jon Stewart’s speech. Hey, every modern-day awards show needs one, apparently.
Number of standing ovations for Michael J. Fox: One big one toward the end of the telecast.
Number of homages to “The Andry Griffith Show”: Two. One appropriately somber one, during Ron Howard’s salute to the late, great Mr. Griffith, and one amusing one that mashed up the Mayberry series with “Breaking Bad” and led to the unfortunate shooting of Don Knotts.
Number of Emmys that “Downton Abbey” won: One during the broadcast, for supporting actress Maggie Smith, and two total, including the one it earned for hairstyling. That’s out of 16 nominations.
Number of Emmys that “American Horror Story” won: Interestingly, this “miniseries’s” fate was similar to “Downton’s.” It snagged one during the broadcast for supporting actress Jessica Lange, and one other at the Creative Arts ceremony, for hairstyling. That was out of 17 nominations.
Number of my Emmy predictions that came true during Sunday’s ceremony: Three out of 10. Which is just pathetic and sad. But as Lisa de Moraes notes, this Emmy Awards served up a lot of surprises. So maybe I can count this as a bye year?
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