I realize the TomKat divorce has been consuming much of our Hollywood-split conversation. But, America, there is another possible/maybe/most-likely-not-real celebrity break-up matter that demands our attention.
The romance between Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez may be on shaky ground. Actually, it’s probably not because last night they were seen in public holding hands, which is the international sign of relationship-harmony-for-the-sake-of-cameras. Still, the Brangelina of the tween-pop set seemed to be in major trouble for almost 24 consecutive hours. It was scary, you guys.
Here’s a brief summary of the important events that occurred during the seemingly short-lived Bieber/Gomez Break-Up Drama of the Summer of 2012, provided here so that you can keep up with the conversations your 9-year-old daughter and her friends will be having over the weekend. You’re welcome.
●Oh my God, Bieber and Gomez broke up last week but then got back together! So said TMZ in this item published Thursday, which is clearly accurate because its headline features the words “on the rocks” in all-caps, and also because it cites “sources in the know” who say the Biebs/Gomez situation is “tenuous.” Man, I thought their love would last as long as the Sixteenth Chapel. This is depressing.
● Wait, it gets worse. A few hours later, on Thursday night, People published a report that said Gomez was “crying about Justin and was upset” during Ashley Tisdale’s birthday parties. That’s weird. 19-year-olds never cry about boys in public settings like parties, and definitely not at parties held in honor of “High School Musical” stars.
● But wait, it gets better. Roughly 20 hours after publishing its ON THE ROCKS item, TMZ reported that Bieber and Gomez went out to dinner Thursday night and were photographed holding hands. Picture- takers — who, in an astonishing coincidence, happened to be at L.A.’s Pink Pepper restaurant at the precise moment Bieber and Gomez decided to link fingers — asked if the two were together. Bieber’s reported response: “What does it look like?”
Well, it looks like you’re holding hands on purpose so cameras will capture the moment and goofballs like me will write about this entire ridiculous episode. Dang it, Bieber. You’ve outsmarted me again!