Hey, remember these guys? The Smurfs? The little blue dudes (and one dudette) who sang this high-pitched yet catchy little number?
Well, prepare for your ’80s memories of watching “The Smurfs” on Saturday mornings, playing with Papa Smurf figurines and saving Smurfette in the Colecovision video game “Smurf: Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle” to be completely destroyed. Because the trailer for this summer’s “The Smurfs in 3D” has been unleashed on the world.
I counted five (at least) excruciating attempts at smurf humor in the one-minute-48-second clip.Here’s the rundown, followed by the video so you can witness this potential Gargamel-tastrophe for yourselves.
Bad Smurf Joke No. 1: “Where the smurf are we?” So horribly, horribly predictable. And yet, also a good example of how to use the word smurf in place of curse words. If Melissa Leo had only said “It looks so smurfin’ easy” during her Academy Awards speech? Problem solved.
Bad Smurf Joke No. 2: “Nothing like a cool breeze through my enchanted forest.” These words are uttered by a smurf who sounds remarkably similar to Groundskeeper Willie and who essentially moons the camera while he says them. Weird. I don’t remember Creepy Scottish Smurf from my childhood. At. All.
Bad Smurf Joke No. 3: “Let’s smurf this joint.” Within the context of the trailer, this suggests the smurfs want to escape from a particular apartment building. Out of context, it sounds like something Dave Chappelle might have said in “Half Baked.”
Bad Smurf Joke No. 4: “All right, who smurfed?” This line made me particularly proud. I had no idea my 4-year-old son wrote the screenplay for this movie.
Bad Smurf Joke No. 5: “I think I just smurfed in my mouth.” You and me both, little blue buddy. You and me both.