I’m just about done with these silly Internet holidays. You know the ones I’m referring to: Those days when it seems like the Internet is trying to force you to post about a seemingly random topic — probably because it’s an anniversary, or because someone has predicted the world will end or just because the numerical form of the date amuses us.
I’m not paying attention to any of them any more. I’m out ... after I finish this post.
Today — 11/11/11 — I’m contributing to the trend, in honor of guitarist Nigel Tufnel. Of course, Tufnel was the character played by Christopher Guest in the 1984 heavy metal mockumentary “This Is Spinal Tap,” the guy who said “These go to 11.”
In the spirit of the Facebook group dedicated to getting today declared Nigel Tufnel Day, I have compiled the Top 11 Nigel Tufnel quotes from the movie “This is Spinal Tap.”
11. Tufnel on why so few girls attend Spinal Tap shows: “Really, they’re quite fearful, that’s my theory. They see us on stage with tight trousers. We’ve got, you know, armadillos in our trousers.”
10.On his favorite foods: “I love tuna. Those little cans you’ve got here — tuna fish. No bones!”
9. Defending the band’s design for the “Smell the Glove” album cover: “What’s wrong with being sexy?”
8. On the druids, as Nigel introduces “Stonehenge:” “No one knows who they were, or what they were doing ... .”
7. Explaining a new piano composition: “I’m really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it’s kind of in-between. It’s like a Mach piece, really.”
6. On the band’s special amps: “Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it?”
5. Defending the final version of the “Smell the Glove” album cover: “It’s like, how much more black could this be? And the answer is none — none more black.”
4. No one will ever be sure exactly how drummer Stumpy Joe died: “You can’t really dust for vomit.”
3. Would Nigel be happy as a salesman instead of a rock star? “I don’t know. What are the hours?”
2. On the band’s special amps: “These go to 11.”
1. After explaining his influences and the haunting effect of songs played in D-minor, Nigel gives us the name of his piano composition: “This piece is called, ‘Lick My Love Pump.’”
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