Having conquered the worlds of film and video game endorsement, beloved Jack Russell terrier Uggie has delighted fans — and likely angered struggling writers everywhere — by dipping his paw into the literary arena.
The pup has sold his memoir to Gallery Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, according to the Associated Press. “Uggie: My Story,” which will be ghost written by author Wendy Holden, is due out in October.
While Uggie’s life is all glamour and Correspondents’ Dinner invitations now, it wasn’t so long ago that the 10-year-old pooch was on his way to the pound. Thankfully, he was adopted by his trainer Omar Van Mueller, and the rest is history.
It's no secret that we here at Celebritology love Uggie. So we couldn’t help but imagine what some of his memoir’s chapters would be like. See this writer’s musings below.
I’m a Golden Dog: “Standing on stage at the Golden Globes, I knew I was a star. Never had I imagined there was anything better than a piece of sausage, but the applause! The acclaim! Jean Dujar — who? No, it was Uggie’s time to shine.”
“Artist” Director Michel Hazanavicius Must Be Barking Mad: “When my personal assistant first read what Michel had said in the press, I thought it must have been some mistake. Not expressive? Not an actor? Moi? Clearly, he had not seen my performance on a skateboard. I’d like to see Pacino or Redford do that.”
Dog Day Afternoon: “There I was at the top of the Empire State Building that cold day in January, cameras fixed on me, my name being shouted in every direction. ‘What if I don’t want to stand on my hind legs for the 1,000th time?,’ I thought. ‘Do I really have to wear this bowtie again?’ I longed for the simple days when I could sit poolside without the paparazzi jumping my fence.”
“The Artist” is Top Dog at Oscars: “I don’t want to take complete credit for ‘The Artist’s’ success at the Oscars. But yeah — it was all me.”
Do-gooding Dog: “Now in my retirement years, I have moved on from Oscar-winning films to philanthropic endeavors, including being a PETA spokesdog. I’ve now joined the ranks of do-gooding celebrities, like Angelina and Gaga. No wonder they call me the George Clooney of dogs. (If you’re not calling me that, feel free to start.)”