Taking sides: Who should “The Colbert Report” book next?

Did Radiohead win any new fans by appearing on “The Colbert Report” on Monday night? They seemed a little nervous answering Stephen Colbert’s questions and a little blah performing under the hot lights. To be a successful musical guest on the “Report,” you must be somewhat politically literate, sound awesome on a TV soundstage, and be hilarious and/or willing to let Colbert be hilarious at your expense. So who should Colbert try to book next?

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Chris Richards: It’s gotta be a hip-hop star. Colbert’s persona is somewhat based on Bill O’Reilly who used to be (still is?) obsessed with attacking rappers. Colbert could really turn this into infotainment gold. He’s already had Lupe Fiasco on the air, but the Radiohead booking opens the door for bigger gets. Lil Wayne? He was too cryptic during his chat with Katie Couric. Kanye West? He might not post, considering Comedy Central nixed his puppet show and he’s still upset about all that “South Park” stuff. The clear answer is Jay-Z. All of Colbert’s pro-(anti-)corporate speak during the Radiohead interview could be cleverly recycled here — and it would give the businessman (business, maaaan) an opportunity to show that he actually has a sense of humor.

David Malitz: The answer has to be Rick Ross, doesn’t it? The simple visual of Colbert in his suit doing his patented celebratory trot over to the interview desk to sit across from the mammoth Ross is reason enough. We haven't heard too much about Rozay’s political views, but given all the recent talk of extra taxes for millionaires, I think he’d be able to give a unique take on this topic. I also think that Dr. Stephen Colbert, DFA would be able to offer a diagnosis for Ross's respiratory problems — involuntary “ungh”ing.

Allison Stewart: How about Tom Waits? He's incredibly politically literate and funny, but probably in a wry, head-scratching, people-sure-are-funny kind of way — not in an alienating, bomb-throwing way. He’s also probably a great conversationalist, which is the only reason I chose him over Neil Young, who would probably stand there looking furiously at his shoes for 25 minutes.

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