After the release of some disastrous footage from stunt journalist James O’Keefe last week of an NPR fundraiser making disparaging remarks about the Tea Party, the House voted Thursday afternoon to defund NPR. The measure passed 228 to 192, but not before earning a sardonic rant from Anthony Weiner (D-N.Y.).
“We’re not trying to harm NPR,” said Rich Nugent (R-Fla), “We’re actually trying to liberate them from federal tax dollars.” That is true! There is nothing more harmful than federal tax dollars. That’s why nobody wants them, ever, especially not individuals. “Please, stop giving me entitlements,” everyone shouts. “And do not attempt to pay for any of my health insurance or to name a bridge after me. I want no part of this!”
Right now, it’s largely symbolic, which some would argue is a polite way of saying pointless. Still, if the cuts pass the Senate and take effect (an outcome that seems unlikely), the fabled radio network might have to cut back. Given that, every few minutes of listening, you are currently interrupted by someone trying to sell you a multi-CD set of Songs Your Parents Might Have Mixed Feelings About, or Music No One Noticed in the ’70s, or Songs That Cause the Guy Who Makes CD Compilations to Think of Wounded Birds, or just a voice gently but firmly urging you to donate money, I can’t imagine what it would be like with even less funding. Maybe there will be an hour-long pledge drive that gets interrupted by another pledge drive halfway through, like a pledge-drive nesting doll!
And they might have to retitle a few of the shows! Here are some of my suggestions. NPR, feel free to use any of these!
Some Things Considered
Pretty Clean Air
This Canadian Life
Tell Me Less
The Tavis Frowney Show
A Prairie Homeless Companion (via Twitter user @bbchase)
Weakened Edition (via @brfreed)
Join the conversation on Twitter (hashtag #defundednprprograms) or in the comments!
Update, 6:55 PM: A reader brought to my attention that the hashtag #defundednpr has been going on Twitter even longer than my #defundednprprograms! This is a far superior hashtag! Use it instead -- and apologies for missing the wealth of wit it generated the first time around!