In further dubious celebrity endorsement news, Honey Boo Boo has endorsed Obama.
If you don’t know who Honey Boo Boo is, you have led a uniquely charmed life and you need to go back to it, posthaste. And take me with you.
But for the rest of us, this seems only logical.
Because there is no subject sufficiently serious that we can go without hearing from Honey Boo Boo on it. Gay rights? Check. The merits of pigs as pets? Check. The election? Check.
It took some struggle. It took some prompting. But Jimmy Kimmel pried it out of her. Then she stuck her hand in a glass of water.
This is pretty much every celebrity endorsement in a nutshell.
She is 7 and accustomed to being on reality television, and more than 30 seconds had passed in which she was not the focus of attention and it was becoming unbearable.
“As goes Honey Boo Boo, so goes the electorate” is a statement I hope never to hear from anyone, ever.
But who knows? Some would argue that the electorate, even in the best of times, resembles a 7-year-old reality TV star in attention span and constant desire that more focus be on us. “No!” we say. “Mitt Romney preferred Snooki! Hisss! Candy!"
This is one of those endorsements about which all I can say is: “If this moves you at all, please, think deeply about whether you should vote. Maybe take your mother to lunch, or catch up on e-mails, or go see ‘Argo’ or something.”