On The Post’s Under God blog, Elizabeth Flock drew out Harold Camping’s calculations that predict the May 21 end of the world.
But I know better.
Here are the actual numbers Harold Camping used to calculate the arrival of the End.
Jesus = #1! +
Guy in Wisconsin eats 25,000 Big Macs +
.000003 = Odds life without Oprah will be worth living +
$54,808,297 = Domestic gross to date of the movie “I Am Number Four” +
4 = The Number That I Am +
34 = Number of times I have awakened in the middle of the night with a really good thought I should have written down +
2012 = the year it is next year +
June 18, 2011 = expiration date on this can of peas I happen to be holding +
559-3827 = phone number that showed up in my phone under the name Not Jonathan +
6 = number of times I’ve seen “Pretty Woman” and cried +
30 = number of times I’ve seen “Pretty Woman” +
1 = number of times I’ve seen “Pretty Woman” and choked up a little bit but I think it was allergies +
59 = Stephen Hawking’s age
37 = copies of “Life’s Little Instruction Book” I’ve given to people for graduation because I forgot to buy gifts that weren’t terrible +
2 = cast members of “The View” who remind me of my mother +
07734 = number you can type into your calculator to make it look like it’s talking to you +
3,444,9 = I assume the total number of bears in North America +
8 = optimal height for a Christmas tree, in feet +
8! = I just really like the way this number looks like it’s wearing a belt +
-40320 = In my enthusiasm for the number 8, I wrote it with an exclamation mark, making it a factorial and throwing off the calculation! +
1 = number of times I’ve been wrong about the world ending before +
8 = I really like this number +
21 = hit album by Adele +
- 49669598.000003 - e = number God whispered to me once in a dream
May 21, 2011!
Clear as pie!
If you have any questions, here’s a picture of the preliminary numbers.