Keep Donald Trump, Macy's

November 14, 2012

I’m just saying, this is his natural habitat. (SHANNON STAPLETON/REUTERS)

I am distressed to note that there is a petition circulating online to remove Donald Trump as Macy’s spokesman. And it’s gotten more than 500,000 signatures already.

Sure, the petition makes some good points. Donald Trump has indeed startled many with his loyalty to the birther conspiracy and misuse of his platform.

But I take issue with their assertion that “Donald Trump does not represent the magic of Macy’s.”

When we think of Macy’s, most of us think of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, when dozens of giant balloons, inflated to cartoonish proportions, dangle over the streets of New York City to the alarm of small children.

And I defy you to find any phrase that more perfectly describes Donald Trump than “a giant balloon, inflated to cartoonish proportions, who dangles over the streets of New York City to the alarm of small children.” He has been cultivating that image for years. Sometimes he floats outside 45th-floor windows on the steam of his own ego. The only difference between him and one of Macy’s inflatables is that he’s full of hot air.

This is the Magic of Macy’s, in a nutshell. Get rid of Trump, and you’ll have to get rid of all the absurd balloons. And getting a job as a balloon in this economy is hard. Both inflation and deflation pose a threat. No, protect the balloon economy. Save the Donald.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.
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