It’s not that Mitt Romney’s arrival in England was inauspicious exactly. It’s not that if most rapid insertion of foot into mouth were an Olympic contest, he’d be on the medal stand. No. Surely not.
Sure, he said that London seemed unready for the Olympics, that their logistical problems were “disconcerting.” (They’ve been saying it for some time! but that doesn’t give him clearance to say it. Your friends can complain about their toddlers all they want, but just you utter one syllable disapproving of Little Kyle....) Then a mysterious ghoul started muttering things about Anglo-Saxon heritage. And of course there’s the top-secret MI6 meeting that got noised abroad.
But at least it can’t get worse.
He still has Poland and Israel left on the itinerary. At the rate things are going, here is what that will sound like.
- “Look out, I’m invading! Heh heh, I bet you get that all the time.”
- “Hey, I’ve got a joke for you! Why did they tear down the stadium in Warsaw? Huh? Because no matter where you sat, you were behind a pole! Hoo boy, that kills me. Poles obstruct your view.”
- “Been a while since you heard any good Polish jokes, come to think of it.”
- “Bibi, I brought you a delicious cured ham, garnished with shellfish!”
- “Where do you keep the Protocols of the Elders of Zion?”
- “I don’t see why everyone’s so upset. I mean, it’s just land, right? Am I missing something?”
- “I mean, it’s a wall. What’s to wail about?”