Christine O’Donnell, on Tuesday night, endorsed Mitt Romney.
First Dan Quayle! Now Christine “I’m Not A Witch, I’m You”O’Donnell.
Is this the new Romney campaign strategy? Seek the endorsement of as many national punch lines as possible?
“People view me as too serious,” Mitt seems to say. “But at the mention of the names of my endorsers, they laugh long and hard.”
Who’s next? Anthony “Weiner” Weiner? John “Weiner” Edwards? Levi “Hockey Glove” Johnston?
A more effective strategy might be to seek the endorsement of Anyone But Christine O’Donnell. Generally when people see that Christine O’Donnell has done something, it actually dissuades them rather than encouraging them.
Off the top of my head, here are just a few endorsements that might be more helpful to Mitt Romney than O’Donnell’s:
●that smoking guy with the mustache who ran Herman Cain’s campaign;
●a bag of lightly salted chips, because if a bag of lightly salted chips starts talking, you know it’s important;
●Donald Trump, which is sad, but there it is;
●Mark Wahlberg — I’m not sure why you’d listen to him, but, hey, he’s not Christine O’Donnell;
● Newt Gingrich, by accident. He’s a loose cannon. It could happen!
And it’s not as though O’Donnell is forcing her endorsement down Romney’s throat, as I imagined. In general, the reflex response to the news that Christine O’Donnell wants to endorse you is to run away as fast as possible and make some sort of lame joke about how you hope she doesn’t have a broomstick with her.
The Romney campaign welcomed her with open arms. This is really bad news. No one is that happy to see Christine O’Donnell at a gathering that other people are definitely attending. The campaign issued a statement from Romney on Tuesday night noting that “Christine has been a leader in the conservative movement for many years . . . and I am pleased to have her on my team.” Given that the team currently also includes Dan Quayle, whose endorsement everyone worried might refer to him as “Mitte Romney,” this is not heartening news.
And an endorsement from Christine O’Donnell is only mildly nicer than Christine O’Donnell actively discouraging people from voting for you. Some would argue that it’s indistinguishable. On CNN, she commented on allegations of Romney’s flip-flopping that “That’s one of the things that I like about him — because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Ah. What would it sound like if she were discouraging people from voting for him? Maybe she’d insist that he was “too consistent” and “too conservative” and “too exactly what the country needs right now.”
Maybe this is a stealthy way of endorsing Gingrich, given her repeated pleas to Tea Partyers to “stop flocking behind Gingrich.” Christine O’Donnell wants people to stop doing something? Must be on the right track!
At this stage, maybe the worst thing about O’Donnell is that she has repeatedly, on the record, stated that she’s not a witch. Mitt Romney could use some sorcery right now. And witches tend to know what to do about newts.