Here are some possibilities:
• Maintaining an active presence on MySpace.
• In the opening-night audience of “Atlas Shrugged.”
• Standing slightly to the left of Waldo.
• Actually came out of hiding two weeks ago and alerted all the media, but everyone was too focused on Anthony Weiner to notice.
• Just more proof that you don’t exist if you aren’t on Twitter.
• Was in a compound surprisingly close to West Point.
• Hiding on page 290 of the health-care bill.
• Was Raptured by accident 16 years ago and just managed to sort this out.
• An active and vocal supporter of the Gingrich campaign.
• Whenever anyone apprehended him, explained, “No, I just played him on an episode of ‘America’s Most Wanted.’ You wouldn’t believe how often this happens to me.”
• Is one of six people who actually show up to claim those hiking-massage Groupons, startling the proprietors so much that they did not notice his identity.
• Spent the past 16 years pretending to be a lesbian blogger.
• On top of your head the whole time!
Have better ideas?