November 29, 2012

But did you get any wax for the Trans Am? (Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images)

D.C. has a new Costco.

And of course Joe Biden went there. The person who fills the Joe Biden role in any given family is always the first guy into the Costco.

The first sign that this is really President Obama’s second term is that his vice president and his Onion alter ego, the one who has been banned from Dave and Busters and likes to wash his Trans Am shirtless in the White House driveway, have now merged to spawn Costco Joe.

This is America, where we buy things in bulk, for cheap!

The pool report from the event contains such gems as:

Motorcade rolled from Costco at 10:12 am, w VP stopping to talk to reporters after wheeling a cart filled w among other things, childrens’ books, fire logs, a 32 inch Panasonic tv and a big apple pie to the registers.”

AMERICA!

Probably this is just fodder for the annual Costco Joe Christmas Party, where everyone gathers around a roaring fire to eat store-bought apple pie and read children’s books, and it’s a little weird but no one says anything. I certainly know the theme of my next party!

As an aside, apple pie seems like exactly what you would buy if you were on a “Vice Presidents: They’re Just Like Us!” themed trip to Costco.

The report continues:

Unknown if he bought a watch, though he spent considerable time at the counter looking at them, including a $1,200 one, and put in a call to his daughter, Ashley, saying he needed to “get some guidance.”

Biden also availed himself of several Costco food samples, and looked like he enjoyed them.

AMERICA!

If one thing defines the American way, it is “the enjoyment of free food samples.”

He did a loop of nearly the entire store, including bakery and frozen foods. But Biden turned down the employees who were trying to lure him to the tire department. “Hey man I don’t need tires,” he said. “I don’t drive anymore.”

But what about the Trans Am, Joe?

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.