March 14, 2013

Pi’s the name of the game at this pizzeria. (The Washington Post)

Today, we celebrate Pi! It’s had a better run than most things that can be described as interminable and irrational, especially when you consider that it is always going to be on the disappointing end of the homophone “pi/pie.”

If you are in a place that celebrates the irrational number with pie, congratulations!

If not, try to get some pie in order for these other under-celebrated mathematical days:

-e Day: 2/7. It’s not a very precise day, but it’s as close as we are likely to get to celebrating the irrational constant. Mark your calendar for 2018 now, when 2/7/18 gets two digits closer!

-10 Day: Hey, pi gets a day, and 10 is just as good a number as pi! And it serves as the base for a lot of logarithms!

-X Day: It’s time we celebrated this constant variable. And the best thing about this day is that you can have it on any day you like!

-Whatever Math You Need To Divide The Check And Leave A Decent Tip Day: It can’t be algebra. We learned algebra. I don’t know what it is. Invite all your friends for dinner and see if they can figure it out. Hide in the bathroom until they have.

-<3 Day: Falling on the 1st and 2nd of the month, this day celebrates everything less than 3, and people on the Internet can probably get behind it.

-QED Day: Like D-Day, but without the heroism and with a lot of people insisting that whatever was just said proves their point.

-! Day: Nothing says excitement like “factorials!”

-Derivative Day: Hipsters hate this one.

Fermat’s Last Theorem Day: Whenever anyone poses a question, explain that you TOTALLY have an answer but it could not possibly fit in the margin. Die with it unresolved.

-Pythagorean Theorem Day: Celebrate the relationship between the hypotenuse and the other two sides by eating triangle chips all day.

-Exponential Day: This day starts well but spirals quickly out of control, covering entire islands with multiplying rabbits in the blink of an eye.

-Logic Puzzle Day: Spend the entire day trying to seat David at tables (but not next to Keith or Abraham!) and get a cabbage, a chicken and a fox to cross a river (but not next to Betty or David). Basically, plan a wedding.

-Quadratic Formula Day: X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus 4 AC divided by 2A. Day!

Actually, maybe we should stick to Pi Day.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.