Siri in action
Siri, explain your offshore holdings? (Associated Press)

Senator John McCain started it.

During the Senate hearings on Apple’s elaborate tax-avoiding techniques — what The Post’s article described as a “‘complex web’ of offshore entities — with no employees or physical offices — that allowed it to pay little or no taxes on tens of billions it earned overseas” — McCain broke the mood.  Concluding his questioning of CEO Tim Cook, he inquired, “Why the hell do I have to keep updating apps on my iPhone?”

“Sir, we’re trying to make them better all the time,” Cook replied.

As long as we have a Senate hearing on the subject, here are a few other questions that bear asking:

• Why are all the songs in Apple commercials so twee? (as @PourMeCoffee on Twitter suggested)

• Why am I compelled every thirty seconds or so to update iTunes so that it no longer does something I used to value and instead does several annoying things that I don’t want it to do?

• How do I get Autocorrect to stop judging me?

• Why does every Apple Store look like the place Mies Van Der Rohe would go to choose a robot bride?

• Sometimes, for no reason, the icons on my iPhone decide to rearrange themselves. Do I have a poltergeist or am I hitting something I shouldn’t be hitting?

• Can you call my grandmother and explain to her how to minimize a window? Because I sure can’t.

• Siri, is it raining?

• Are you still innovating, or are you just going to keep making skinnier and smaller versions of the same things and hope we don’t notice?

• I miss the clickwheel. That wasn’t really a question, more of a comment.

• When you’re naming operating systems, is there a big protracted fight inside the office between boosters of different exotic mammals? (“Snow leopard!” “Ocelot!” “No! Wendigo!” “Wendigos aren’t real, Dave. We’ve been through this.”)

• Apple Maps. Why?

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.