Want to go as a couples costume but lack a body to go with, like the skeleton in the old joke that I just ruined? Insist on dressing as part of a duo but your boyfriend says, quote, “No, Petri, just one year I want to go without being the back end of the International Space Station”?
Then look no further! Here are some great couples costumes that you can pull off all by yourself!
Waiting for Godot: Dress in a bowler hat, hold a carrot and explain that you are there as Estragon or Vladimir and that your date, when he or she arrives, will be Godot.
Donnie Darko and That Giant Rabbit: “I’m Donnie, and this is my date, who is dressed as a creepy giant rabbit. Of course you can see the rabbit, can’t you? He’s huge! Hey, where are you going?”
Yourself and the Wikipedia Article About You: Just wear normal clothes. When someone asks where your date is, curse and say, “They deleted it already? Again?”
Richard Dawkins and God: Carry a copy of “The God Delusion.” Explain that your date is there as God. When people ask why your date isn’t visible, grin smugly and say to the space at your left, “Well, look who’s right!”
God and Christopher Hitchens: This inverts the previous costume. Dress in a big white robe and long, flowing beard. Carry a copy of “Arguably” and leaf through it, chuckling periodically.
Shrodinger & Cat: Drag a large box around with you. When people demand to meet your date, open the box to reveal a cat skeleton. Collapse in sobs. Scream “Joe, you didn’t need to commit to this level!”
Mac & PC: Dress as Mac. Explain that, once dressed as a PC, your date was too embarrassed to go out in public, primarily because the reference was so dated.
Orange & Something That Rhymes With It: Dress as an orange. “He assured me he had a great costume!” This costume doubles as a great “The New Black” costume, if you feel frisky later on.
“Beautiful Mind”/”Fight Club”/You See the Idea: Dress as John Nash. Say your date is portraying Nash’s college roommate. Dress as the narrator. Say your date is portraying Tyler Durden. This costume doubles as ” ’90s Spoilers.”
The Solar System Planets and Pluto: This should be fairly self-explanatory.
Kidney Failure and True Love: Dress as kidney failure. “I’m here as the one that exists!”