October 31, 2013

This picture is kind of scary. (John Gress / Reuters)

1. The phone call is coming from inside your phone. It’s a person who wants to talk to you on the phone.
2. You hit “Reply-All.”
3. You are actually required to listen to a voicemail.
4. Funeral Selfies are a real phenomenon.
5. You are already older than all the female protagonists in Jane Austen.
6. A mere 10 years ago, when you wanted information, you had to wait until you got home to a physical computer to Google it.
7. You say “Bloody Mary” three times, but the brunch server totally doesn’t hear you.
8. Someone with your name makes a racist YouTube video and becomes the top Google result forever.
9. Slenderman ruins all your funeral selfies.
10. The only people who retweet what you thought was a really great joke all have Twitter bios with glaring grammatical or spelling errors expressing their vigorous support for candidates you dislike.

If you like moments of horror, try these two-sentence short stories forum.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.