Two white doves intended to symbolize peace were attacked by a crow and a seagull as they flew outside the Vatican. (CTV.va)

You can’t make this up.

The Pope (and two children) released two peace doves as a symbol of the need for reconciliation and peace in Ukraine.

Then two birds attacked them. A seagull and a crow came diving out of the sky to seize the birds of peace and tug at them with their beaks. Off to a great start!

If this were ancient Greece or Rome, some augurs would be going absolutely ballistic right now. “DID YOU SEE THAT, CALCHAS?” they would be asking each other, jumping up and down and getting entrails everywhere. “DID YOU SEE THAT? That’s what we in this business like to call an OMEN!”

This could be a further metaphor (Max Fisher makes the case that it is). Then again, the predators in this case seem to have overreached a bit. Experts consulted by the Post’s Darryl Fears said it was worth a try, but please, what did those attack birds think they were, HAWKS? “If it had been a hawk, they wouldn’t have gotten away,” Geoff LeBaron, who conducts an annual bird census for the Audubon Society, was quoted as saying. “But it was worth a try, I guess.” (All the quotes in this story are fantastic.)

Of course, you could spin this. It is possible to spin anything. Consider what Oscar Wilde had to say of similar good intentions gone awry: “Missionaries, my dear! Don’t you realize that missionaries are the divinely provided food for destitute and underfed cannibals? Whenever they are on the brink of starvation, Heaven in its infinite mercy sends them a nice plump missionary.” This suggests another way of looking at this fiasco. Why “Peace Doves Attacked?” Why not “Pope Francis Almost Feeds The Hungry”? Never mind that the hungry in this case happened to be birds.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.