People seem a bit confused lately about what constitutes persecution.

Here, for instance, is millionaire Tom Perkins saying that rich people are being persecuted for not getting more votes than people with less money.

Also, in Kansas, a so-called anti-discrimination bill sailed through the House last week — fortunately, the chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee, a Republican, pronounced it “dead” and said it raised serious concerns in giving individuals and businesses carte blanche to refuse service to same-sex couples if doing so might conflict with their religious beliefs. As broadly written as the statute is, it could even have allowed government employees to turn gay couples away. The bill explicitly stated that another employee could then offer them service only if doing so posed no “undue hardship” to the employer.

It is this kind of remark and this kind of bill that leads me to believe that we have no idea what persecution actually is. “It’s when people treat me the same way they treat other people, right?” we guess. “Obviously, I am better than other people, and anyone who fails to acknowledge this is persecuting me.”

For future reference, here is a quick chart.

persecution

Remember, if what you’re complaining about is that someone else wants to be treated the same way as you: congratulations, you are not being persecuted! Sorry, I guess.

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.