The aforementioned Donald. (Manuel Balce Ceneta/Associated Press)
The aforementioned Donald. (Manuel Balce Ceneta/Associated Press)

If your response on seeing this headline was “Oh, good! There’s no news!” then, good. Continue to go about your life, and keep making the choices you’ve made.

Well, folks. The Conservative Political Action Conference is underway, or, as some people might call it, a fun-themed LARP weekend of people pretending it’s 2016. It’s at the National Harbor, an imaginary place that is literally located inside the kind of climate-controlled bubble that everyone fears all D.C. policy comes from.

With the caveat that anything you say about The Donald will be used against you, Donald Trump gave a rambling, teleprompter-less speech Thursday about subjects ranging from immigration (“we either have borders or we don’t“) to what China really wants (“the thing they most want — you know what one of the top 10 things: anything Trump. You believe it? My apartments, my ties. They love me. They love me.“)

He also alluded to “the late, great Jimmy Carter.” Who is, er, still alive. I don’t know if it’s a compliment or an insult to be referred to as “the late, great Jimmy Carter” by The Early, Grating Donald. Of all the quotes in his speech, this seems to be generating the most buzz — not the best sign for Trump’s perpetual flirtation with a run for president, in the sense that it is “flirting” when a creepy man at the end of the bar keeps shouting pick-up lines at you, years after you have told him in no uncertain terms to stop.

At least he didn’t address him as “Adele Dazeem.”

Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day.