This is not the worst idea Starbucks has had. (Drew Angerer/Getty Images) This is not the worst idea Starbucks has had. (Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Well, Starbucks is going to be serving us alcohol soon, and you know what that means! Drunken caffeine-fueled orgies into the wee hours of the night!

No, I’m sorry: more evening sales for Starbucks!

Well, who says we can’t have both?

It has long been time that we combined the barista scene and the bar scene. So, here are a few starter Starbucks pick-up lines for when the opportunity arises:

  • Hey, was your daddy a barista because you are ALMOST what I ordered.
  • I like my coffee like I like my men: either tall or with a confusing Italian name.
  • Hey girl, are you a chai because I’d like to get dirty.
  • Hey, if I bought you a drink would you let me sit here for several hours and work on this screenplay?
  • Hey there, did someone request a little extra whip?
  • Hey girl, are you a faulty French press because I’d like to be burned by you and recall you afterwards.
  • Want some non-dairy creamer?
  • I like you about 1/18 as much as I like a Pumpkin Spice Latte, which is to say “I love you forever, let’s get married.”
  • Hey, wait, give me another shot!
Alexandra Petri writes the ComPost blog, offering a lighter take on the news and opinions of the day. She is the author of "A Field Guide to Awkward Silences".